The wheel needs updating. For the past 20+ years the rage has been for mergers and acquisitions.
It goes like this: a company hires a dynamite superstar CEO for megabucks who promises investors the moon and stars if they support his acquisition of firms in fields completely unrelated to the acquiring company’s strengths.
Once it becomes obvious that the acquisition is a hopeless bungle— think AOL Time Warner— the responsible CEO is given a multimillion-dollar retirement bonus, after which the company hires a dynamite superstar CEO for megabucks to oversee the divestiture of the useless acquisition.
So the wheel should read “hire,” “acquire,” “disillusion,” “fire & reward,” “hire,” “divest.” American firms used to be giants of creativity, but apart from outfits like Apple, Facebook, Google, etc, the game now is mergers and acquisitions ad nauseam.
Since Dump is the equivalent of Sell – the wheel is heavily weighted 3:2 in favor of selling. They will be cash heavy and without assets quickly, under that statistical weighting.
It also doesn’t specify what will be bought or sold. That’s where the chimp-enabled dart board comes into play. Of course, with all the M&A these days, there may be only one “space” on that dart board.
Some financial publication used to do an annual feature on stock picking involving a chimp, a dart board with stock listings attached to it, and 5 or so darts. At the end of the year they’d compare the chimp’s picks those of well reputed analysts.
Dtroutma about 6 years ago
Makes complete sense in today’s market.
somebodyshort about 6 years ago
The “other guy” has a wheel that say’s “bomb” “invade” “ally” “nuke” “ignore”. He spins it frequently and for no reason
finkd about 6 years ago
That wheel is missing a Bankrupt space ( whether morally or financially is anybody’s guess ).
sandpiper about 6 years ago
There’s one of those in the senate cloak room. It is used for late night round-ups just before the breaks for holidays, vacations, and stump grinding
hangedman about 6 years ago
In some countries that’s how they choose their leaders.
Pharmakeus Ubik about 6 years ago
The casino economy in a nutshell.
Masterskrain about 6 years ago
Actually, it’s easier then that. All they need to do is decide which choice will increase THEIR profits while screwing the average citizens.
Iron Pounder about 6 years ago
As long as we get our commission, it makes no difference.
Nathan Daniels about 6 years ago
When the chips are down….
cdnalor about 6 years ago
Just hope they don’t get a “whammy” from the SEC.
forsyth about 6 years ago
Wheel missing “Hold” option.
RighteeTightee about 6 years ago
It is missing the Increase Executive Bonus! then file bankruptcy.
Geophyzz about 6 years ago
This must be the group that manages my retirement savings. Earnings this year about 0.3%.
DCBakerEsq about 6 years ago
And, thus ended the toy empire known as Toys ‘R’ Us.
Rev Phnk Ey about 6 years ago
The wheel is also missing “Offshore”.
BiathlonNut about 6 years ago
Then where are the “lie,” “cheat,” an “steal” spaces. Those are the most commonly used.
kodj kodjin about 6 years ago
Another example of how bad management can destroy any company: GE and Sears!
erniejpdx about 6 years ago
The wheel needs updating. For the past 20+ years the rage has been for mergers and acquisitions.
It goes like this: a company hires a dynamite superstar CEO for megabucks who promises investors the moon and stars if they support his acquisition of firms in fields completely unrelated to the acquiring company’s strengths.
Once it becomes obvious that the acquisition is a hopeless bungle— think AOL Time Warner— the responsible CEO is given a multimillion-dollar retirement bonus, after which the company hires a dynamite superstar CEO for megabucks to oversee the divestiture of the useless acquisition.
So the wheel should read “hire,” “acquire,” “disillusion,” “fire & reward,” “hire,” “divest.” American firms used to be giants of creativity, but apart from outfits like Apple, Facebook, Google, etc, the game now is mergers and acquisitions ad nauseam.
johnec about 6 years ago
Since Dump is the equivalent of Sell – the wheel is heavily weighted 3:2 in favor of selling. They will be cash heavy and without assets quickly, under that statistical weighting.
It also doesn’t specify what will be bought or sold. That’s where the chimp-enabled dart board comes into play. Of course, with all the M&A these days, there may be only one “space” on that dart board.
dot-the-I about 6 years ago
Bow-tied guy not just the newest member of the firm; within the year he will be the firm.
willie_mctell about 6 years ago
Some financial publication used to do an annual feature on stock picking involving a chimp, a dart board with stock listings attached to it, and 5 or so darts. At the end of the year they’d compare the chimp’s picks those of well reputed analysts.