Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 13, 2018

Offer to trade a…. and a bottle of whisky for the gun.

I assume he is dying of lung cancer.

Good for you, OMJ. Now you can die from smoking in bed.

Wackos with guns and explosives in their own home, and the intent to use them?

Somehow, the humor escapes me here.

Mr. Johnson must of known Guard Duck.

I don’t suppose we can take out an insurance policy on a cartoon character?

The firepower is to keep his kids from putting him in a nursing home.

If he is planning to eat bacon before he dies, pig might want to leave.

‘Rage, rage against the coming of the night.’

Old man Johnson: a devote NRA member

Guard Duck is going to want those grenades back, if they aren’t used at the end.

Okay, Grim Reaper, come at me, bro!

Would be best to sleep outside for the night, Pig.

This is actually very sad, when you think about it. Especially as it was just Veteran’s Day, it struck me as a portrayal of a vet with PTSD, who’s fed up with his medical condition and is choosing to give up on life.

Can’t find any humour in this one.

I would like to die in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming and crying like the passengers in the car he was driving.

He’s ready to take on the Death Panels!

The options are blow yourself up or burn the house down.

Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

.

Dylan Thomas (whoever he was)

Pretty sure you can’t shoot or blow up death.

Call in the Guard Duck!

Pig with the look on Mr Johnson’s face he is no where near ready to go. Being that Veteran’s day was just yesterday this arch was poorly timed :-(

He’s got one of them rifles with the foldable stock.

Looks like a human version of Guard Duck, especially with the helmet.

Do not go gentle into that good night,Old age should burn and rave at close of day;Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,Because their words had forked no lightning theyDo not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how brightTheir frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sightBlind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.Do not go gentle into that good night.Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

-Dylan Thomas

Need a fifth of whiskey to complete the portrait.

Yeah, time to leave, Pig

Death’s not gonna creep up on him, anyway.

.. And there is only one thing we say to death, “Not today”

Why is he wearing both pajamas and a war helmet? that confuses me

Needs a bottle of Whiskey.

Do not go gently into the night, but go out with a bang.

Dylan Thomas would be sooooo proud

Four common effects of smoking – Lung Cancer, COPD, Stroke, and in men, Bladder Cancer. Guess how they access the bladder to treat the cancer? Go ahead, light up another one. . . .

In one of Richard Pryor’s routines, he talked about John Wayne, and said, “John Wayne kicked Death’s ass TWICE!” Clearly, Old Man Johnson has been inspired.

And well he shouldn’t. Make Death work for it.

I came into this world screaming and kicking, I hope I go out the same way.

Attaboy, Old Man Johnson! Go out fighting! Make the Grim Reaper work for his trophy.

Call Guard Duck to subdue this guy.

Don’t kno about y’all, but i’m gonna cheat Death, & get caught up in the Rapture !

Dylan Thomas is vindicated!

Ethan Allen ( The General not the furniture store) “General, I fear the angels are waiting for you.”: “Waiting are they? Waiting are they? Well, g*dd*m ‘em, let ’em wait.”

Old man Johnson is a badass. I like him.

All I can say is, the Grim Reaper better be wearing a cup!