Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for January 29, 2019

Not an ad for gym memberships or cycle psychos.

“Or your wallet.”

What about the gut?

Really? Who is God going to bring to achieve this? People will always remain people. Men will continue to horn at your big butt and the other women will continue envying it.

Or how big your hands and feet are

Kim Kardashian won’t go in if that’s the case. That’s not her version of Heaven.

Gut, But? What’s the difference?

But how large your EGO is makes a big “he stays”/“he goes” difference.

Prefer “if’s” anyway – but(t)s are not for me.

If you’ve been good all your life you deserve to make an ass of yourself.

I wonder if I will still hold in my stomach in paradise? Old habits are hard to break.

A big butt can be sexy. A medium butt can be sexy. A small butt can be sexy. A flat ass is NEVER sexy….

What butt? You left it behing so the maggots can be feed.

What I don’t get is why anybody cares how big someone else’s butt is on this side of that gate.

I mean, if you are personally attracted to it…. great.

If you’re not, or you think… or especially, if you want to say…. it’s too big, too small, too wide, too narrow….

BUTT OUT!

“Thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven.” We could use a little of that attitude down here.

Same sign on the door to Planet Fitness

So, that’s where Sir Mix-A-Lot got the idea for his song?

I wasn’t aware that souls (the only part that makes it to heaven) had corporeal presence. Without a body, how does one have a big butt?

And there’s an end to that issue

“The Butt Stops Here!”

It should read " No one cares about outward appearance past this point."

The real gag in this story is that the sign is in reference to the Chief of Heavenly Social Status and Popularity, Henry Nobody.

good thing Kim Kardasian won’t be going there

There is a glimmer of hope for me then ;)

My butt and gut have both exceeded my expectations.

They only worry about how big your head is.

Heaven is filled with big butts? #UnsettlingAfterlife

OMG…..I printed out a copy for my wife to pin on the frig to show her that the two most adoring guys in her life don’t give a s**t……..me and god

I’da thunk you’d have immediate control of your body shape past that point. I want functional wings (and to get rid of my fear of heights).

As I understand it when the 2nd Resurrection happens and before Final Judgment, everyone alive and dead will get new perfect immortal indestructible bodies at their best, but looking the same. Or so it has been interpreted by some.

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/do-we-receive-the-same-body-we-had-on-earth-at-the-resurrection

Maybe Mr. Miller is referring to one’s undeserved, self-inflated idea of one’s own worth (that’s a different meaning of the word “butt”) instead of to one’s physical bottom. A long time ago I used to hear people say “He thinks his rear end weighs a ton” when they got tired of saying “He’s conceited idiot.”

That’s what makes it heaven for women. What makes it heaven for men is that no woman will ever ask them again if something makes her butt look big.

Note to self: cancel gym membership.

Tough luck for the Kardashians, etc!