Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 12, 2019

Try reading Sartre. If nothing else, you’ll have a reason to drink.

Alexa v 0.05

Go with the magic 8-ball – it does not eavesdrop on your conversations as Siri and Alexa, and you get the same random responses.

I do believe that there is a meaning of life, try to live happily and feel fulfilled.

A more profound answer would have been “NO”.

“REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN”

The meaning of life is 42

It’s an easy machine to make: it just has Maybe cards inside.

There is a meaning to life, Pig. You were born to solve world hunger crisis, you delicious little morsel you.

“Better not tell you now.”

The box need an update .

Pig try “The Game Of Life” game . M-B ’s first game created in 1860. …….Croc Power !

Rat’s life is that of diseased vermin and yours signifies pork products.

I like the answer that God gives at the end of Time Bandits.

Where is Johnny Carson when you need him? He was able to make nonsense out of gibberish with the finest.

That wasn’t really an answer.

Sometimes, Rat, you can’t get no satisfaction. Keep rolling!

Of course it gave a meaningless answer – you asked 2 questions at once!

There is as much or as little meaning to life as you wish to put into it.

Its all up to you.

what a jip, doesn’t even tell your weight.

At least it’s a firm and definite “maybe”…

Seems like there is no charge for using the machine – so what kind of answer do you expect for free.

Why are we here , what’s life all about ?Is God really real , or is there some doubt ?Well tonight we’re going to sort it all outFor tonight it’s the meaning of life

Maybe Rat could troll Craigslist for a used Zoltar.

42, duh.

The questions are all why and the answers are all because.

because beer.

Isn’t it frustrating when the answer isn’t the one you wanted to hear.

Reminds me of the Twilight Zone episode “Nick of Time”.

Those are two questions, both a yes or no with conflicting answers therefore “maybe” would be the only response the box could offer.

“Perhaps I’m old and tired, but I always think the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say ‘Hang the sense of it’ and just keep yourself occupied. Science has achieved some wonderful things, I know, but I’d far rather be happy than right any day.” —Slartibartfast

And the universe replied, “That tiny speck is making a buzzing sound again.”

And MAYBE spelled backwards is EBYAM!

So long, and thanks for all the fish

Like life itself.

For Pig, that’s a very deep question.

Remember “Lisa” the pseudo-AI? Her responses were all of the form “Why do you think that?” or occasionally “You seem to be upset. Can you say why?” Turned out that she was actually better than nothing for some folks with mental/emotional problems. It was briefly amusing to set up two of them and transcribe the answers of each so it was as if they were (not) conversing; though it got old very quickly. Does that happen w/ Siri and Alexa?

The universe is fraught with meaning to those who can see it.

Is this another one of Rat’s “get rich quick” schemes? I don’t trust a Box o’ Answers that comes without three letters of recommendation and a writing sample not over 30 pages….