Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 16, 2019

Become a mattress tester.

Pig is the mascot/spokesperson for Pig-in-a-blanket

Some security guards sleep on the job.

Pig has got it sorted. Wonder if Rat will give him a reality check.

Department of Motor Vehicles?

Get a grant to do sleep research on porcines.

I’m sixty years old and I still haven’t “found my bliss”.

They leave out the part about trying to find an idiot willing to give you cold hard cash for what you love to do.

“If you like what you do you never work a day in your life”

We can’t all be icecream tasters.

I am with you Pig . Does that mean the more I sleep the more they will pay me?

Pig just hope the government does not require you to be a certified sleeper. Nice part will be sleeping your way through the test to pass ;-) ….. Croc Power !

I always wanted to be a price checker at the Dollar Tree store.

That’s the easiest job in the world.

I wish.

I love to read comics.

Pay me.

paid to lie, not the same in DC!

POOR pathetic PIG! never knows what end is up…never gets it! LOL

Many years ago, I had a meeting with a career counselor. He asked me what my dream job was. I told him I wanted to be a marijuana tester for the federal government. He got a good laugh out of that. Seemed to think I was joking.

I applied for a job as a drug tester once but quit when I found out I would be testing FOR drugs. :)

I love to learn about languages so I’m going to school to study sign language to become an interpreter for it

Jeff Foxworthy once said, “I can’t believe they pay me to do this!”

Sorry, Pig, that’s not how this works. “Love not sleep, lest you come to poverty;…” (Proverbs 20.13, RSV)

They say to find what you’re best at and stick to that, but there is not much market for procrastination.

I’m still waiting for that job where I read cartoons while drinking coffee and eating pastries…

Here,Pig.Just lie down in this nice,comfortable contraption.Don’t mind the smoke.Sleep,sleep ;)

“Do what you can with what you have where you are.” Theodore Roosevelt.

That would be, quite literally, a dream job!

Become a (male) prostitute. The you can sleep around.

Several universities have a sleep lab where they study volunteers (usually impoverished students). And hospitals too, but there you pay them to have your sleep difficulties diagnosed.

I’m a chicken-plucker on the swing shift. My dream has always been to be a chicken-plucker on the day shift!

I will gladly pay you Thursday if only your other ear would sleep now.

Only works if someone does pay you, Pig. that’s a rather iffy proposition….

That idea is kind of a snoozer.