Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for October 23, 2019

“I didn’t think you could get blood from a Stone either, but then I met Keith Richards.”

Try beets next time.

And don’t even get me STARTED on kale!!!!

The turnip’s disinformation program worked!!!

You don’t seem to be bothered by juice from grapes.

Try gravenola.

Try a beetroot or a blood orange.

Try a vegan instead of trying to go vegan.

Maybe he should get a job with the IRS.

Vlad the in-kaler…

BLah BLah, BLah, I’m finally drinking blooooood!

She experienced a suck-cession of silly gibberish.

you should bleed the freak instead; what I get its like blood from a stone

Move to where cannabis has been legalized. Then you can get blood from the stoned. (And when you turn into a bat, you can really fly high.)

Well, you could limit your diet to vegans who do easy turnips.

Hey Vladina, that guy’s mouth is all on one side of his nose, best beware.

Give it time; following current trends, some lab somewhere will develop artificial blood made from plants.

My Missile Wing had an Evaluation shop that showed a mailed fist squeezing a turnip, out of which flowed a river of blood. The motto read: “The Hell We Can’t!”

You can’t get blood from a rock, either, and though it’s close, the turnip is a tad easier on the fangs, if it’s cooked.