Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for November 08, 2019

You will fall head over heels in love with this job.

The last one took a job as a corporate head hunter.

Is this how the word “executive” was derived from “execute”?

Forgot to say: Get a head in this business!

The customers complain and then they stop complaining.

Watch it. Very sick humor coming up……. how to get ahead in life.

No conscience required.

Reminds me of an old joke. “Do you like music? Do you like traveling? Do you like meeting new people? Apply within.” Turns out that the job was selling pianos door to door.

Sir, see me up safely. As for my coming down, I’ll shift for myself. Sire Thomas More, at the foot of the scaffold.

And you can tell the world that you now have an axe to grind.

Guess the last guy who had the job just couldn’t hack it, so he got the axe. ducks the rotten tomatoes being hurled his way

Where’s my cubicle…who took my cubicle….

Some lifting, but hey . . . also some swinging!

Seems like there’s a dozen folks lining up to show that to one guy, and they’re bringing their own axes

Having to work with basket cases as they do, frequent turnover for that job is not unexpected.

I used to joke about putting an add in the paper for help that read something like this:

“Lose weight!

Get fit!

Get a nice tan!

All while getting paid to do it!"

… I’m a roofing contractor.

Now, if this was set up in the middle of Washington, D.C., I’d be FIRST IN LINE TO APPLY!

Good tips, but your clients get to have the last word!

All the BS you get fed when you go on job interviews. . .at least this guy knows EXACTLY what he’s in for!

And you get tips!

I think the ad writer also works as a real-estate agent.

One of the few jobs where you get the axe when you’re hired.

The technology you’re handling is cutting edge.

They never presented this opportunity at the high school job fair. I suppose there has to be someone somewhere who is looking for an executioner.

You’ll be the head man almost immediately.

Clean up isn’t mentioned. Is that contracted out?

Oh, good, I was looking for a new job after I got laid off from the returns department for lack of business.

Not much room for career advancement, but plenty of opportunity to get a head.

Severian leaves Thrax.

Better to be the hanger than the hangee.

After years of confusion, he found his true calling as a headhunter.

That is the best way to get a head in life.

“Axe about our great retirement plan…”

Nope. I could never work in HR.

How to Get a head in Business Without Really Trying.

It’s all in the job description. Had a friend in the Air Force who when people asked what he did in the Air Force, he would tell them he laid on his belly and passed gas all day. He was the boom operator for inflight refueling. ;)

Detachment proficiency required.

And the fact that no one is exactly precise. Why the Guillotine invented by a German to be merciful.

Gym Membership and advanced Job Training provided for the best candidates.

An excellent collection of puns, fellow Wiley’s.

i dunno – i’d be worried about getting the axe…

No long-term commitment with customers.