Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for November 21, 2019

Vegans hunt truffles and rip them screaming from the forest floor.

What they don’t realize is that if they mess with Dave or Lucy, they’ll have to deal with Danae.

Hmmmmm….. trophy hunters in atrophy!

There are hunters. Then there are hunters who’ll shoot from their pickemup truck (in between beers). And then there are hunters who’ll shoot the decoy deer sitting twenty yards away from the SUV with the decals and reflective stripes and light bar. And then there are the hunter who’ll shoot the decoy deer from their pickemup truck window in between beers. I wish I were joking.

Humanitarians eat humans.

time for Wiley bears to engage the hunters

A friend of mine was once shot at while she was on her horse. Fortunately, the horse ran the other way, not toward the drunken oaf.

Trophy hunters…think they’re big men on campus…..NOT

Poke’m hard Mr. Miller!…. There is a difference between shooting and hunting. I hunt, and nobody likes these guys, they are not hunters, and there is nothing sporting about what they do, unfortunately, they are very common to see.

LazyBoy Lounge Sportmen. Every armrest has a beer holder, every footrest a boot scraper. Get ’em at Bass Pros today!

Rifles and bottles of booze…..looks like my two brothers siting in trees hunting deer in the PA Pocono Mountains. Thanks to the booze, the deer had nothing to worry about.

Lucy forgot her blaze orange horse blanket. The one with horse spelled out in large black letters.

If he’s going to shoot, he’d better have a permit and do it quickly, because the state of Maine:

a) requires the former for moose hunting, and

b) closes its moose season on November 30.

And it also better be the first and last moose he shoots this year, ‘cuz that’s the bag limit.

I have no issue with responsible, ethical, hunting and shooting. The problem comes with “responsible”. A few years ago a women in Maine was shot and killed while standing on her porch hanging out laundry. Her killer was not convicted. “It was an accident”, He’s a good guy who made a mistake", “she should have known better than to wear brown during hunting season”, “she was from away”. I was taught in NRA sponsored hunter safety class’ that I was responsible for that bullet, no matter where it ended up. I was taught to be sure of my backstop, to be sure of my target, to never shot at “flags”, to know the area I was hunting. I was taught safety above all else and that hunting under the influence was criminal. These are the same yahoo’s who think they need an assault rifle with an oversized clip to hunt deer (or a Wiley moose). I was also taught if I didn’t have a clear kill shot to not take the shot. And some wonder why some are afraid of guns…

I want to know how those two lazy Alcoholics got their fat butts up there, ALONG WITH THE RECLINERS, in the first place! Airlift? Hidden elevator? Forklift??

Ever seen a moose? They’re real big and heavy. How are you gonna pick it up to take it home?

Experience has taught me that a majority (not a vast majority) of people tramping around in the woods armed with rifles, shotguns, crossbows, or bows and arrows are competent, safety-minded and to a greater or lesser degree respect the environment.

There is an even smaller percentage that I would call true hunters or outdoorsmen – who do so not for the thrill of the kill but the need to feed. These individuals provide for themselves and their families through hunting and fishing.

Personally, I have not hunted with a rifle or bow for many, many years. I prefer to stalk my prey with a camera. I’ve been fortunate to indulge in this type of hunting over several continents. My trophies are some very interesting photographs and the memories of how I obtained them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQyoSLOlglw

At least they are there with their guns instead of internet steering a gunbot from their couch at home.

Reminds me of when VP Darth Cheney accidently shot one of his fellow drunken hunters in the face

And then there are those (I hate to say “people”) who belong to exclusive country shooting clubs. These people just stand there while birds are released from cages and then shoot at them. I once knew a gamekeeper from one of those clubs who trained his birds to fly across a shooting area to get their food on the other side. I told him he should train the birds to eat out of the barrels of shotguns so that the members of that club wouldn’t even have to aim.

Better send Ed Lowry out to take a closer look! (See today’s Bliss.)

Years ago I worked in Indiana for a drug store chain where it was claimed the top execs had a vehicle rigged with seats from which they could hunt without the need for all that walking. This comic reminded me of that.

A hunter in northern Arkansas died on October 22 of this year after being gored by a deer he’d shot and thought he’d killed. Thomas Alexander, 66, of Yellville, Ark., was muzzleloader hunting alone when the attack took place.“It appears he shot the deer and he had put his rifle down near the deer stand and walked down to check and make sure it was dead,” Arkansas Game and Fish Commission chief of communications Keith Stephens told ABC News. “And that’s when whatever happened, happened.” Apparently, the buck got up and attacked Alexander with its antlers. The hospital confirmed that there were several puncture wounds on his body, although authorities said it was unknown whether he had a heart attack or died from his wounds.

If you shoot them I will never read your strip again.

That’s what they all say about hunting. Like they are doing the world a favor.

LOL! Sometimes I wonder about you, Wiley…………….

I only ever shot pests: you know, like squirrels and rabbits and groundhogs and neighbors. (Just JOKING! I never ONCE shot a rabbit!)

So what will happen so the two drunks don’t shoot the moose and horse? I hope they fall off the vehicle.

Don and Eric.

How is today’s strip to be continued? (Call back to previous strips’ end panels.)

As John Wayne said to his son in “Big Jake”, “The only reason to kill is for meat or self-defense.”* Of course if the Good Lord intend for me to hunt, he wouldn’t have invented Winn-Dixie. * My apologies if the quote wasn’t spot on accurate.

I’ve seen them parked on the I-75 and running up the banks in a residential neighborhood…guns drawn.

Wait, isn’t Lucy a fantasy of Danae’s? Howcum the hunters see her? Or is the moose a fantasy too?

If vegetarians eat vegetables shouldn’t that mean humanitarians eat humans?