Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for September 12, 2020

I got the same message in a fortune cookie.

Whoa! An actually useful horoscope?

Tomorrow it changes to “Now is a good time to avoid family”.

Wait a moment! Why does mine say, “Now is a good time to avoid relatives”! (Smirk!)

It might have been a good time to avoid Chinese food, too.

And a good time to be wearing masks and avoiding restaurants.

It’s all horroroscope these days.

What’s boring is glaring into your cells while at a restaurant across from each other….BOO HISS

“Wow, horoscopes have gotten so boring.”

Yes, they’re not that much different from comics like, say, Luann or The Family Circus or Peanuts.

My horoscope once read, “Avoid arguments with men carrying automatic weapons.”

Should be horrorscopes.

Mine says, same as yesterday; every day.

My horoscope this morning said: ‘Horoscopes are worthless. Find something better to read’.

Twice, I’ve gotten fortune cookies with no fortune. I guess that was the fortune.

How can they be strangers.. if they share the common “stranger”? This could easily lead to a strange relationship.

“Oh, sorry- I thought you asked ’What’s my Boroscope… ’.”

Why just strangers?

should say “avoid horoscopes”

Now is also a good time to avoid familiar people as well.

Meet strange dudes at the coffee shop? Have a shot at it.

Let’s not be strangers.

Mine reads, “Screw up your courage today. You’ve already screwed up everything else.”

Not just strangers!