Pickles by Brian Crane for March 13, 2021

Does Earl need a hearing aid?

Commas can save lives!

The art of punctuation is lost on Earl…

He’s just protecting himself in case Opal is in a joking mood.

Well, he could have said pickled, since that is his surname!

Opal: “How would you like to do it yourself?”

I take it Earl is not on the raw egg diet.

Didn’t Earl & Opal meet at Woodstock?!

I would comma on that.

Doesn’t want the “Rocky” breakfast…crack em open, raw, into a glass, and drink ’em down).

As long as they’re cooked, Earl doesn’t care how they’re done!

Stoogies would say : Adam and Eve on a raft … wreck-um ;-)

Once I called a graduate student to have lunch with my family. After lunch, my wife asked him, Would you like to have tea or coffee. Pat came the answer: “Yes”.

Raw raw raw! Earl.

Q: How would you like your eggs?A: Ova

Any way you cook them is fine with me!

read that to mean…as long AS they’re cooked, the method isn’t important!

As long as they’re not poached, cook them any way you like, Opal.

Well, she did ask.

I have to separate my eggs, I cannot have the yolk.

After all the years together, you’d think she would know!

There are two places the comma could go that might elicit that answer from Earl:

1) “How would you like yours, cooked?”

and

2) How, would you like yours cooked?"

yes, he is deaf in his left ear!

Question marks do not have a sound. Grandma paused.

A typical wiseass answer that I might give, which would result in my getting my eggs poached runny – yech!

You’re losing weight my dear.

maybe she paused slightly after yours?

A perfectly fine answer which many women don’t respect, basically, “Just so it isn’t raw.”

Just making it clear it is cooked.

Well, now I know what I’m having for lunch.

Reminds me of a time when my brother and I went to a Ponderosa steakhouse years ago. He likes his drink and was more than a little buzzed. While we were going through the line one of the servers asked him if he wanted one dinner roll or two. My brother replied “Yeah”. Confused, she asked the same question again. Again my brother replied “Yeah”. The server gave up and placed one roll on his plate. He didn’t object.

Sadly, that was the day I realized he had a drinking problem. We don’t talk much anymore but when he calls he usually sounds all liquored up.

i say things like that

Earl isn’t wearing his hearing aid

Noooo, but I think he’s about to need a band-aid

One morning I ask the family how they wanted their eggs, I don’t care was the favored answer. I didn’t care either so I set a egg in shell on the plate with the toast etc. Never happened aagain. My 1 daughter was about 12 & she remembers it well, she’s now 65. LOL