Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 29, 2021

Where’s the open bar?

This isn’t a party. This is a prison. We’re imprisoned in this pathetic thing called the body and we’re cursed to be constipated.

No one invited you to the party either, Rat. You’re more of a gate crasher.

Pig, those are true words on many levels!

Rat should sue. WHO he sues is up to him.

“If I’d known this was a party I would’ve danced a whole lot more.”

Words you don’t want on your tombstone.

Now I hear “1999” by Prince playing in my head . . .

Who the $%#% invited that %$$ Rat to today’s strip! He pops in whenever he ##$! feels like and ruins the mood.

Thanks Pastis, I’m putting what you had Pig say on my tombstone.

Never too late to start, Pig!

“I should have danced all night”!

Rat seems to be a purveyor of doom!

Don’t worry Pig. There’ll be plenty of dancing on Rat’s grave.

No time like the present, Pig. Now start dancing!

Well, most of us didn’t, but some of us are quite ok with being alive.

Nobody asked for you to be born, Rat. They just make the best of it.

Pig could be the lard of the dance.

Rat go back to bed ! Now wake up on the other side !

It is not too late to start dancing now.

I searched for a dance partner for 17 years. I found her and we’ve enjoyed the tune for 54 years now. Join in, Pig, it is great fun.

Rat is the guest who eats all the food and then complains about the quality.

Or brought a cake.

Depressing.

Existential crisis.

That punch line is so terrific I thought it had to be a quote from somebody, but it doesn’t seem to be. Pastis, I think you just became quotable!

A “party” is also classified as a group of three or more, look it up. Rat was right.

There goes pig, telling it like it is again!

You can cry if you want to Rat. I choose to smile.

Some days your damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

In a big swimming contest at the very beginning of your sad life, Rat, you pushed a thousand other little swimmers out of the way to win the race, so yes, you did ask to be here. :-D

Eat more bran.

I like how pig treats this party as an opportunity to stand out and have fun as a nice contrast to his failure banner.

Sounds like Rat is just being a Rat.

Being born means getting a free ticket to the freak show.

And being born in America means getting a front row seat.

(Thanks, George.)

If you did not want to be born you can end your life.

Good advice for us all. Dance while we can…..

No one asked to be born, so it’s not like rat’s in an unusual situation.

Rat proves some people just see complaining as their sole purpose in life.

Me too, Pig. Me too.

I don’t get it..

Well, Bub, whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap!

Life is a party… at times. Other times it just sucks.

Life has definitely become a party these past 14 months – but more like a rave!

Life is too short Pig so “Dance like no one is watching”…and even if they are.

Oh, that’s what I’ve been forgetting!

Today’s strip is bittersweet.

I wished my mother have practiced birth control. If she had there would be a lot of pain and trouble that I would not have had to go thought. I did not ask to be born. I was 9 months and 2 weeks coming into this world and they had to come in after me then.

Evidently ’Rat’s full name is Karen Rat.

Kudos to Mr. Pastis, who knows not to write “if I would have known”!

People say a baby will come when it’s ready. But there were alot of factors into the day I was born that I had no choice in. 1. My older brother was an emergency C-section, so natural birth was unadvised for the rest of us. 2. The doctor liked doing C-sections on Mondays. 3. My dad wanted the tax break so I was born in late December. I was dragged early into this world so I’ll take my own darn time getting around to everything else and be as late as I want.

No one was asked. No one can be a asked. Get over yourself.

There’s still time to dance.

i wanted to be born because i could see the comic

Help! I’m stuck in a Cartoon of Cliches, and I can’t get out!

(And, does the style of the art, if we can call it that, look a little different the last day or two? Has Cartoon—Boy taken on an apprentice?)

You crashed the party and nobody cares about you. Nobody owes you anything so quit whining

I didn’t ask to be born either mouse and now im living pretty good

I believe Rat’s tirade qualifies as an actual philosophy.