Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for December 10, 2021

Aren’t there laws against animal cruelty?

Cruel and unusual punishment

So, how many survived your experiment? Only the deaf ones?

Mad science at its best :)

I remember Just In Time, and Just in case, and Just Because. What is Justin Bieber?

I guess you’re not a Bielieber….. (That’s a no, by the way. And I don’t care if it’s not spelled right).

Is this in the infrastructure bill?

What? I thought the music then was way better than cacophony.

Justin Bieber has Greatest Hits?

Apropos of nothing, did you ever notice that if you pour a little hot liquid on a table, you get a little puddle, but a little coffee will leave a ring?

Many years ago, a government grant to study why was issued.

Talk about animal abuse!

I read several years ago about a high school that was trying to raise money for some program. They decided to play Bieber’s latest “hit” on the PA system, and students had to pay to have it turned off for a short while. I belieb they raised quite a lot.

That’s amusing, thinking Bieber had a greatest hit, much less hits.

Yes, they will, Blanche…yes, they will!

Our Tim Hortons has something they’ve named ‘Tim Biebs’.

Wait til PETA hears about this.

Sounds like the Ig Noble award that he is trying to win https://www.improbable.com/2021-ceremony/winners/

I once read how $880,000 of our tax dollars was used to study snail, um, “reproducing parts”. So yea Blanche, science is pretty much a free for all lol

When you read about some of the ludicrous grants out there, you might think they give money away to anything crazy. But, grants can be quite difficult to get for worthy causes.

Thry will and they do!

Back in the ’80s I had a large pet iguana. The TV for the living room sat on his cabinet residence and he would throw major hissy fits every time Glenn Frye came on MTV. We finally figured out that he hated saxophones!

FUNNY!

Medieval torture, Oh the humanity!!!!!!

Yup, pretty much…

Strange thing is they are all heading for the mousetraps…and they are not baited yet!

The government gives grants to anyone who agrees with them on global warming, climate change, the economy and a variety of other things. Any study done with government grant money is flawed.

Haha, this is funny!

Cruelty to animals.

They will soon die rather than live that way.

I remember the days when he was popular and had a high-pitched voice. I never was a Belieber.

How about the studies in the 70’s Yoko 90’s Hanson lol

Even though Bieber was born in Canada…we do NOT admit it. You can have him if you want him.

How would Wiz know who Justin Bieber is, anyway?

Even lab rats deserve better treatment than that. Which invokes a joke.

Many researchers have been using lawyers instead of rats for their experiments lately. Why? Three reasons: 1. There are many more lawyers to choose from than rats. 2. The researchers do not develop nearly as much affection for the lawyers as they did rats. 3. There are some things a rat just WON’T do.

“Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body.”

still… There are plenty of things yet to learn and we don’t know what is important until after we learn. The effects of Justin Bieber might be just one such subject, we won’t know what we don’t know until we do know.

(One fellow watched a wave travel the Erie Canal, followed it for miles, worked out the math of the process. Sounded useless but I think it played a useful part in soliton research over a hundred years later.

Some other folks in the 1950s figured out how to make what is now known as graphene. The benefits of that are looking extremely useful nowadays.)

I figure if someone isn’t doing anything else, he or she might do well to study anything, maybe me. (not me do it, I’m doing stuff, others might need to study me, I’m bound to be good for something….)

So people just getting by and losing ground lately, because of how many taxes we are forced to pay, are paying for grants to people to study dumb things that really don’t need to be studied??

Those poor, poor rats.

Did he ever have a hit?……

Do rats commit suicide? Guess Wiz is going to find out.

Shane Bieber is a major league pitcher for Cleveland. For his uniform name on the day they had the player chose his name for the day, he chose “Not Justin.”

It is not simply the government funding this “research.” It is the CIA. Since they can no longer physically torture subjects, they are looking for new methods of getting prisoners to talk. This may do the trick!

And this may not be a bad idea. My step-father was at an Air Force Escape and Evasion school around 1960. Their “captors” could not hurt them physically. But they had a warped 45 RPM recording of Itsy Bitst Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini that they played over and over. I think I might go nuts from just hearing this song over and over. Throw in the warping of the record and it just might drive someone round the bend.