That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for January 03, 2022

Right after this match, Suzanne designed the short tennis skirt.

Tennis? Do I look like the sort of girl that plays games?

Hello, Mr. Sacher-Masoch? Your 3 o’clock is here.

If she doesn’t beat you at tennis she’ll find another way to beat you.

Suzanne played tennis in a dress to distract from her 5 O’clock shadow.

/// She is probably dressed up too “posh”

to be playing a brisk game of squash.

That round mark at her hip,

(from the bad racquet grip

of her foe), may come out in the wash.

/// But she gave just as good as she got.

That opponent was floored by her shot

which caromed off the wall,

hit his face, made him fall,

and produced a black eye and a knot.

/// Connie’s father controls every racket.

If a “problem” pops up they will “whack” it.

She holds this by mistake,

Fat Pete told her to take

the cannoli, but don’t take the racquet.

/// It’s the day of the Don’s daughter’s wedding,

followed up by events we are dreading.

An equine beheading,

and blood slowly spreading

in a pool ‘neath a film mogul’s bedding.

I need a bigger racquet, I keep taking balls to the face!

You want to repeat that crack about Klinger wearing this dress better?

Only known photo of Mildred – the badminton murderess.

/// Neandritha returns every serve.

She can hit balls with spin so they curve.

She has power and aim,

but her main claim to fame:

Her foes forfeit from losing their nerve.

/// After taking one look at her face,

they rush off of the court in disgrace.

There’s no “love;” no one scores.

They all run for the doors

at the sound of her voice, which is bass.

Hans: Honey, when I said that this portrait should be sporty, this is not what I meant.

This here is our good friend Carol

Arms of steel, and a chest like a barrel..

Seeing her at the net

Strong men break a sweat -

She’s menace in tennis apparel…///

Even war-heroes lose their nerve

In the face of her powerful serve

The bravest man blenches

(It’s as bad as the trenches !")

And she hasn’t a trace of a curve..///

But what of her life off the court ?

It brings me no joy to report

That Carol’s quite “straight”

And she can’t find a mate…

and love, darling, isn’t mere sport.

The transitional art was much nicer

“Love to me was just a word in the game. . .” (from the first draft of “What a Difference You Made in My Life” by Ronnie Milsap)

Dad and Mom had the audacity to ask their teenage daughter if she would be home for dinner; worse yet, what time she thought she’d be home.

Anybody see that damn housefly?

Headline Germany 1915: Artist Hans Fuglsang filed assault charges against a model who allegedly beat him with a tennis racket for painting such a horrible likeness of her.

You can tell from her facial expression

That she’s prone to manic depression.

And not merely manic

But downright Satanic !

Prepare for a difficult session…..

Martina Navratilova – The Feminine Years.

Get over here and help me beat these rugs clean.

“Naughty, naughty boy! You know you like it. O.K., that’ll be two hundred for the first hour.”

Tennis? No, I’m here to clean the carpets.

Stewart trying to join the Womens League.

“Ve haf vays of making you talk…”

“You’ve been a bad bad boy…”

Fräulein Dorothea, seen here just before the bludgeoning death of the last guy to call her “Frau Dorothea”.

Here is your damn racket! And if you damn-well hold the handle better next time, you damn-well won’t hit me in the damn forehead again!

Portrait of Alexandra Lemnos: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:1915_Fuglsang_Portrait_Alexandra_Lemnos_anagoria.JPG 

(best viewed with Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) has info and links that point to more info about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2022/01/masterpiece-2854.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

Sore loser. :)

Nothing like a racquet racket in the mornin’.

If Fuglsang painted everybody like this, no wonder he only lived to be 28.

it’s tennis’s first trans sexual, she should have stayed a man, we don’t need any more ugly women.

On her first day of SWAT TEAM duty Nadia began to think they weren’t taking her seriously. :>)

/// Alexandra was left at the altar

when Maud (bridesmaid) ran off with (groom) Walter.

The bride picked up a racquet.

Went on the attack. (It

was swung at Maud’s head to assault her.)

“…the orange sulfuric volcanic soil of Lemnos”

Alex Lemnos appears cyanotic

and (figuratively) sclerotic

sulfuric – not calm – like the island she’s from

She’s volcanic? or just needs a tonic.