Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for March 28, 2022

Fill the bag with cement and tie it around the lawyers ankles then take him for a one way boat ride. I think that’s worth donating

Feral lawyers are a self-limiting problem though, surely?

Two friends saw the same message: “Remember to sue your friend before he sues you.”

Feral lawyers, isn’t that redundant?

Don’t go using those obscure latin terms to confuse me.

I hope the donation goes towards spaying or neutering feral lawyers.

Those lawyers who are not on the bottom of the ocean support this cartoon!

You’ll get a free tote bag, but you’ll also be charged for several hours of the lawyer’s time.

Maybe it’s just the inclusion of the word “adorable”, but I can’t help reading the lawyer’s pitch in the voice of Alec from the Shriner’s Hospital PSAs.

Your right on Wiley!

America has too many lawyers and not enough plumbers and electricians. When was the last time you saw an ad for a plumber? They don’t need to advertise; they have all the work they can handle.

I wish I could give this 100 likes.

The tote bag; would that be the same as an airsickness bag?

Ambrose Bierce commented that one lawyer would starve in a town that could comfortably support two.

If it said “I Retrained a Lawyer”, then I would be interested…

$19 a month to show you care!

“… And that tote bag is guaranteed to come with the souls of at least 15 different lawyers” – See? Just like most of those other solicitation ads this one is just full of impossible claims.

I once worked at a radio station doing newscasts. A listener called one morning and said I’m John Smith, and I’m a lawyer. I told him the name of our law firm and said he should probably talk to them. He said it wasn’t a call about any legal matter, so I asked him in that case why he felt it necessary to identify himself as a lawyer. It apparently stumped him, because there were several moments of silence before he said whatever it was he was going to say . . .

The implication that there are non-feral lawyers is somewhat disturbing.

Everytime a lawyer joke is made, I will make a dumb client joke. True story: I was going through with a personal injury claimant that settlement was unwise until we knew he was (a) better or (b) never going to get any better. He asked how long typically a case takes; I said two years or more. His response: “But it only takes 60 minutes on LA Law!”

That sound like a good cause. I wonder how much it costs to “retain” a lawyer? Is 25¢ a day to much?

But wait there’s more!!. You get an ambulance chaser and a personal injury lawyer for only $1995!! [No decimal intended.]

‘’Do be responsible and spay or neuter your lawyer.’’

Why would you want a retaining lawyer?

Actually, it’s the “pet” lawyers that are the problem. Feral lawyers are the ones that only know how to follow the law. Pet lawyers focus on pleasing their owners.

If you donate to a re-nowned grifter, you are really gullible.

Retaining a lawyer— much worse than retaining fluid.

When my son said he wanted to become a lawyer, I suggested he instead become a pimp. After all, pimps have higher ethical standards and are held in higher esteem by society.

I wish they would go back to banning lawyer ads. Same with drug ads, and medicare ads…

Feral lawyers are discards from their corporate homes, driven by desperation. Donate now, or they’ll sue.

Not to be confused with tame (corporate) or wild lawyers.

Many would cough up for the “I neutered a lawyer” tote bag. (Just kidding, some of my best friends have been defended by feral lawyers.)

“And if you call now, we’ll throw in a paralegal at no charge”

Everybody feels free to ridicule, scoff at, or disparage lawyers until they need one themselves.

As soon as I hear, “If you ___ within the next 10 minutes … ,” I leave the room for 10 minutes.

Oh, they are a wild bunch but so darn cute when they are born. Too bad they have to be thinned out for their own good…..

Like the old joke, “A doctor and a lawyer were out deep sea fishing when a terrible storm comes up and their boat sinks. Sharks soon circle around and eventually eat the doctor but leave the lawyer alone and even help him get to shore”. When asked why he survived and the doctor didn’t, the lawyer said “Professional Courtesy”.

Where can I get one?

Where can I get one"

What do lawyers do with an ambulance after they chase and catch it?