Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 01, 2022

And they’ll probably never find the body(ies).

RIP, congressman Bob.

Everybody needs quicksand, or an shot gun.

Must keep this in mind.

A not an

Literally in political quicksand, I see.

Have you ever deliberately tried to make a quicksand pit? I can assure you that it’s NOT EASY. Not even feasible, most times. You CAN make s sinkhole, though, if the ground is correct. Or put in a hedge of thorn-apples across the sidewalk…

It’s a good thing they defunded the Pullease first.

Quicksand over peat bog. Say hi to Jimmy Hoffa!

Quicksand is green?

Well done!

If I cared about the future, I wouldn’t make a mini me.

Quicksand doesn’t work like this. It’s impossible to be completely submerged.

Sinking in a pit of platitudes.

Ah that must be the rare green quicksand.

If someone takes the trouble to come to your door to talk to you about voting, you should listen. (If they want to talk to you about “eternity”… not so much.)

They never come to my house, too out if the way!

Invite him inside then apply the Castle Doctrine law

Another Bob bites the dust.

If your name is Bob in this strip, you’re probably doomed. Reminds me of the ‘red shirts’ on the original Star Trek.

Building Back Better at its Best

I have never had a politician come to my door looking for my vote, any politician.

I prefer using a trebuchet for unwanted people at the door. Moves the problem well away and out of sight.

I can’t remember anyone ever coming to my door to lobby for a politician. Seems I’ve only ever received robocalls or spam emails, never in-person visits.

Good one, Pastis

Rat doesn’t want a hundred miniature versions of himself running around the house.

Why is it green?

Political quagmire indeed! April Fools is bringing out all the comic tropes!

Well, Rat is a Rodent of Unusual Size, after all…

Looks like someone screwed up on the colors today…

At last, a solution to the “teenagers” selling magazine subscriptions “to fund a community center”.

Just keep a crocodile in your yard. But don’t forget it’s there.

Eventually, corrupt politicians sink their own boat by their unscrupulous actions….

I immediately thought he was sinking due to a septic tank problem, and that kind of sucking hole might be more appropriate for politics.

I’ve been binge watching Red Green Show, and have seen too many “ads” for Rothschild’s Sewage and Septic Sucking Services, I guess.

“We’re everywhere you don’t want to be!”

I thought he was sinking because of all the BS lies he was spewing

In the 2018 congressional elections, the Democratic candidate, a nationally known and widely respected producer of documentary films for CBS and other organizations named Leslie Cockburn ran in the arch-conservative Virginia 5th congressional district. She lost to the Republican, a guy named Denver Riggleman, whose main claim to fame was that he is a devotee of Bigfoot erotica (honestly, you can’t make this stuff up).

But during the campaign, her daughter would canvass for her in much the same way as the guy in this strip was doing for “Congressman Bob.” If her daughter had showed up on my doorstep I would have known I was either dreaming or had died and gone to heaven. You see, her daughter is the actress Olivia Wilde.

Rat is basically the Mr. Burns of this strip.

How are they going to get out?

2022 isn’t an election year, unless he’s considering state elections. In that case, then it is.

Green sand???

Annihilate him, Quicksand.

Rat—-efficiency expert.

How is he at solar panel salesmen?

I’m guessing the ground should have been colored tan instead of green….

Trapdoors over mile deep holes shuts them up every time.

I like this idea!

Wish we could. Unfortunately our front door opens onto the drive. Kinda hard to disguise a quicksand pit. But I wonder if Carlin’s old joke for keeping away Jehova’s Witnesses would work with campaign people.

Good to see that the colorist actually read the comic! NOT!

Alternately, there is a new substance: quickgrass.

Thanks for helping Rat!

And another Political Operative bites the dust, sand, whatever.

Effective, but it must have been a big chore, prepping a whole yardful of quicksand….

MUAH HA HA HAAAAAAA!

And another Bob meets an untimely end…