You make fun of lawyers, until you need one. Like this guy.
Sam called his wife and said to her in a weak voice, "Hey baby, I was driving to a coffee shop to meet Mary when all of a sudden, a stray dog ran in front of me. I tried to steer left to avoid running it down, but the car skidded due to high speed, rolled over and almost ran off a cliff. The car was hanging nose down over the cliff, as I looked down fearing impending death.
“I managed to climb out of the car and save my life, just before the car slid off the cliff crashing hundreds of feet below. The gas tank blew up and the car was blown into smithereens.”
Sam continued, “I was taken to a hospital. I have a broken leg, broken jaw, dislocated shoulder and several head injuries.”
There was silence on the phone, then the wife asked, “Who is Mary?”
It always bugs me when there’s ALMOST a theme in these. They couldn’t have saved the Colorado one for tomorrow and done a third fact about misanthropic animals? Did Ripley’s already do the Condor invasion in SoCal about a year ago?
Farmer Jones asks his youngest son to take the cow over to the bull on the other side of the village. The church Pastor sees the boy struggling with the cow as he makes his way past the church.
“Are you alright?” Asks the Pastor.
“Yes, Pastor.” says the boy, “I’m taking the cow to the bull.”
“Oh dear!” says the Pastor, concerned to see a small child in charge of such a beast. “Couldn’t your father or I help instead?”
what about Colorado’s highest artificial point…those cyclists need to stay out of the bull’s pasture…those aren’t wild turkeys those are nutty Californians filled with Wild Turkey…
eromlig over 2 years ago
Anyone here from the U.K.? Or perhaps still in the U.K.? I’ll explain the situation slowly…
The Scots keep the Sabbath, and anything else they can get their hands on.
The Welsh pray on their knees, and on their neighbours.
The Irish don’t know what they want, but they’re willing to die for it.
And the English are self-made men, thereby absolving The Almighty of all responsibility.
As Mel Blanc said – and the words on his tombstone read – that’s all, folks!
David_the_CAD over 2 years ago
I guess the turkeys were real turkeys.
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
You make fun of lawyers, until you need one. Like this guy.
Sam called his wife and said to her in a weak voice, "Hey baby, I was driving to a coffee shop to meet Mary when all of a sudden, a stray dog ran in front of me. I tried to steer left to avoid running it down, but the car skidded due to high speed, rolled over and almost ran off a cliff. The car was hanging nose down over the cliff, as I looked down fearing impending death.
“I managed to climb out of the car and save my life, just before the car slid off the cliff crashing hundreds of feet below. The gas tank blew up and the car was blown into smithereens.”
Sam continued, “I was taken to a hospital. I have a broken leg, broken jaw, dislocated shoulder and several head injuries.”
There was silence on the phone, then the wife asked, “Who is Mary?”
Until next time.
Templo S.U.D. over 2 years ago
how are those three cyclists now after the fiasco with the bull?
monkeysky over 2 years ago
It always bugs me when there’s ALMOST a theme in these. They couldn’t have saved the Colorado one for tomorrow and done a third fact about misanthropic animals? Did Ripley’s already do the Condor invasion in SoCal about a year ago?
Say What Now‽ Premium Member over 2 years ago
You always want to keep you havoc intact.
OldsVistaCruiser over 2 years ago
Puerto Rico has a bigger population than 21 states. Why isn’t it a state?
papajim545 over 2 years ago
Not taking my suggestion seriously I see
papajim545 over 2 years ago
At least pick a different strip, and leave this one alone
FassEddie over 2 years ago
Farmer Jones asks his youngest son to take the cow over to the bull on the other side of the village. The church Pastor sees the boy struggling with the cow as he makes his way past the church.
“Are you alright?” Asks the Pastor.
“Yes, Pastor.” says the boy, “I’m taking the cow to the bull.”
“Oh dear!” says the Pastor, concerned to see a small child in charge of such a beast. “Couldn’t your father or I help instead?”
“No sir,” says the boy. “It has to be the bull.”
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 2 years ago
Great name for a jalapeno hamburger: Raging Bull.
Take care, may failed competition skier Hans “Who Planted That Tree Anyway” Splatord be with you, and gesundheit.
The Duke over 2 years ago
Was the bull in the race? Maybe he was upset because he was in last place.
Will E. Makeit Premium Member over 2 years ago
what about Colorado’s highest artificial point…those cyclists need to stay out of the bull’s pasture…those aren’t wild turkeys those are nutty Californians filled with Wild Turkey…
dv1093 over 2 years ago
So, today I see Colorado and California. Puerto Rico?
Teto85 Premium Member over 2 years ago
AMES? That’s in Mountain View, near SF Bay.
Bilan over 2 years ago
If the river is Colorado’s lowest “natural” point, is there a man-made point that’s even lower?
Pickled Pete over 2 years ago
ReTest
J. R. M. over 2 years ago
While Ariharee River might be the lowest natural point in the state, state boundaries are man made.