Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for April 23, 2022

1,000 spiders hunting in a pack. I did not need to read that just before going to bed.

Please, no clever rebuttals about the timing of Pesach on my already-ironic posting. Just…enjoy:

Mrs. Goldstein wants to take a winter vacation far from the banks of Lake Michigan. She soon finds herself in the lobby of a hoity-toity hotel in Miami.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Goldstein,” the manager intones (who obviously wasn’t sorry) “but we don’t book Jews into this establishment.”

Annoyed, Mrs., Goldstein answers, “Jewish? Who’s Jewish? I happen to be Catholic.”

“I find that hard to believe, Madam,” the manager continues. “Please tell me who is the Son of God.”

“That would be Jesus, the son of Mary.”

“And where was he born?”

“In a stable.”

“Any why was he born in a stable?”

“Because a schmuck like you wouldn’t rent a Jew a room in his hotel!”

“Hey, guys. I just found our prey on the web!”

There was an old episode of Superfriends about a couple who interacted with walking trees and rocks.

So who’s slower? The pancake flippers or the trees?

Take care, may world’s loudest mime Francoise "" LeQuiettord be with you, and gesundheit.

Don’t think there’s anything liberal about Kansas. . . Odd name for a Kansas town, indeed!

Iowa has a town called Manly and another called Fertile. Newspaper headlineManly man marries Fertile woman.

A man in a hurry goes to a diner and orders a pancake.

He asks the waitress, “Will it be long?”

The cook replies, “No, it’ll be round.”

Ents.

Tellem? Well, I guess ‘gonna’ became normal language as well, over time.

I figured you would want to know that this is National Vagina Appreciation Day.

Indiana Jones

Ew on the spiders!! Gross. And freaky! Reminds me of the spiders in Harry Potter. Also.. WOW to the forest thing!! Who knew?

how does a town in Kansas compete in a race with a town in England?

Here’s how trees can expand their range (sorry for the pun).

There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting.

He said, “Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it’s completely gone now. My hair can’t be saved. But look outside at the forest. It’s such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they’ll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my head.”

“What I want you to do…” the man continued, “is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family’s duty to keep this forest strong.”

And so they did.

Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.

And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.

Until next time.

Regarding the trees: https://www.fs.usda.gov/ccrc/index.php/topics/using-forest-inventory-analysis-detect-tree-migration-response-climate-change#:~:text=The%20spatial%20contraction%2C%20expansion%2C%20and%20persistence%20of%20tree,well-documented%2C%20especially%20since%20the%20last%20ice%20age%20%281%29.?msclkid=d1d26b3ac38111ec88ac49c498df7e9d