Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 01, 2022

“Is it contempt if I don’t give a damn how you feel about me?”

By “wrote a lengthy article,” he means that he posted a maximum-length tweet, and now he’s waiting for someone in the world to care about it.

Exercise. Most evilest thing on the Planet

I really love this strip. Even the puns, and word play. It’s just great writing.

one person’s chore is another one’s mountain I suppose!

That’s not all that’s showing Jeff, thanks to your spandex. Not a lot, but it is showing.

Cyclist Jeff traveled 43 miles because he was texting while cycling.

There might (also) be a life somewhere between these two extremes.

i’ve never stayed up this late and then commented on a pearls lol

Everyone is different Jeff, be tolerant!

Twenty feet? No way!

Should one of those extremes even be called ‘a life’?

What is Jeff doing in a bar anyway?

I just read a lengthy article on men’s health and I already feel more fit now

I feel your pain Pig. I have months like that. You might be dealing with some form of mental illness or depression that prevents you from doing everyday stuff.

You’re a cycalist. That’s contemptable enough for me.

Pig, you can do more. Just drop off that bag on the way to getting a life.

There’s a remarkable number of comments from people who can’t spell Jef’s name, even though it’s Right There.

The spelling of Jef is important, since how else would Jef Mallet know it’s him?

I could use a bike ride myself

Funny how biking forty miles (takes what, 2 hours?) is put in the same category as answering 300 emails. Somebody has a fear of exercise.

I’ve reused an empty potato chip bag for trash.

Would you please give Jef a new Jersey and bike pants…it’s summer and you do not wear long tights, and long sleeve Jerseys in the heat.

Pig is his own enemy…bleah

Oh NO! I spelled Jeeffff with 2 E"s

Hey, I’m a bicyclist, and even I think Jef’s a sanctimonious douche.

I’m transcribing my journals from before I retired. I was a lot like Jeff, without the bike. I still keep busy, but not that busy.

I walked four feet, read thirty e-mails and ignored articles on my health…

Why is the garbage can 20 feet away? That’s way too far.

Always glad to see Jef the Cyclist

Something tells me he gets Men’s Health just for the pictures…

Jef’s unitard has a lightning bolt…

I assume this is Jef Mallett, writer of Frazz?

This one pinches my feet.

You wouldn’t be any good at shoveling snow, Pig. I have 100 ft to shovel to the firewood, not to mention my long driveway…

It’s his 300 emails that he returned that bothers me the most…….

I caved and got another trash can to put where I eat potato chips.

Cyclists would probably be less disliked if they didn’t wear such dweebish garb

Me and my non-athletic body really hate this guy.

Quit being a pig, Pig.

I’ve had friends like Jef. Utterly exhausting even when I was being productive.

Let us bow our heads and pray to Jim Fixx.

Compulsive achievement is usually a symptom of a deeper pathology.

Nice outfit – Is my contempt for YOU showing?

p.s. Thanks for riding down the center of my lane when there is a bike path running parallel to the road.

Okay, Pig looks bad compared to this douchebag this time.

Pathetic, Pig!

I thought nothing could ever make me sympathetic to Jef the Cyclist, but you, Pig, have managed to prove me wrong!

The bikers I ride with are nothing like Jeff. Some of them are kinda jerks (IMHO), but that’s the way of all groups. Jeff IS an arrogant prick LOL that’s what makes him so amusing.

Jef, everything is showing.