Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for June 20, 2022

Greetings to all my fellow comics lovers here on Ripley’s, whether you be Ripsters, quipsters, or …ers. I’m back from a 6,000+ mile journey not too much worse for the wear, and ready to shoulder the mantel of responsibility, if I can tear it away from the likes of Silver and Fogwhistle, who (along with several others) have turned in yeoman service during my absence. So thus I’ll attempt to break my fast in an amusing manner; possibly even a FUNNY amusing manner. Here goes:

A missionary in deepest Africa is confronted by an angry chieftain, who demands to know why some of the tribe’s women have been giving birth to light-skinned babies less than a year after his arrival. “Oh, that’s nothing to worry about,” the quick-thinking missionary answers. “It’s simply a freak of nature; a throwback, if you will.” He looks around him and spots the herd of sheep grazing nearby. “It’s the same as the sheep. Have you noticed some of them are black?”

The tribal chief looks at the sheep, then turns back to the missionary and says, sotto voce, “You no tell, I no tell!”

so would it take 2,000 wolves to scarf all those chicken nuggets in one sitting?

Simple math: 2,000 wolves

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Kirkland Nutra Nuggets dog chowfor my loyal pet, Brista, and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.

The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s a$$ and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won’t let me shop there anymore.

Until next time.

They only needed 2,000 wolves to clean up the nuggets.

I was pulling a fully loaded artic for Vauxhall Motors, out of Bedford (obviously not Bedford, Massachusetts)… They’d loaded the car engines near the roof of my trailer… so much so that I was now totally top-heavy… First roundabout, 44 ton of car parts on the road and pavement… This two weeks after I’d just passed my HGV test… My confidence out the window…

Not me this time but, but I witnessed a fellow lorry-driver, unloading at McDo’s, removed the bar holding back the wheeled trolleys, on a slope, full load of milk gracefully rolled off the back, smashing onto the concrete…

And that is why the chicken nuggets crossed the road.

The Stone Age ended quite a lot earlier than 6,000 years ago.

that ain’t nothing…my brother-in-law can eat all those nuggets in one sitting….

I’m guessing they figured out how much a wolf could eat by observations made at the site of the chicken nugget spill. They must have been lucky to have both a lot of wolves in the area, and someone stupi… err brave enough to go in and measure how much each wolf was eating.

Knowing that a ravenous 25 pound dog can easily devour a pound of meat, it doesn’t surprise me that a 140 pound wolf could eat 20 pounds of meat in one sitting. Those mofos are huge!

What language is this"? Jasonesque Brit?

so how many wolves would it take to eat 40,000 pounds of chicken nuggets?

My ex had that wolf beat by 80 pounds.

Take care, may sleepy truck driver Otis “I’ve Got Sunshine On A Cloudy Day When It’s Cold Outside I’ve Got The Month Of May” Multiplefractord be with you, and gesundheit.

Historically speaking, 6,000 years doesn’t seem all that long ago.

McDonald’s served them, anyway. Believe It… forget the Not.

Who’s afraid of the big,bad chicken nugget?

Those stone agers appear to be stoned

Chicken nuggets are people!

Must be where the term “Wolfing it down” came from.

40,000 lbs. of chicken nuggets dumped on the road? That’s substance abuse! It reminded me of another true story:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGldNpngDws

Those chicken nuggets were dry without any sauce

…and as fate would happen, a tanker truck carrying hundreds of gallons of BBQ sauce slammed into the nugget truck a few seconds later.

So, they had to call in 2,000 wolves to clean up that highway in Pennsylvania?

Man, where I live they had LIVE chickens crash on the highway. Although… the truck DID catch fire so I guess there were only 1000 nuggets instead of 40,000 pounds….

So that’s why the chicken nugget crossed the road!

So, you’re saying, it would take 2,000 wolves to clean up that tragic Pennsylvania highway? How about 1,000 wolves in two sittings? And that brings up the question of how long wolves go between “sittings.” That determines how long the highway would be closed with only 1,000 wolves on the job.

Oh wait. It was closed for “several hours.” Would you believe 2,000 slow wolves?

Harry Chapin sang of “40,000 pounds of Bananas”.

One wolf can eat 20 pounds of meat in a single sitting?

How do you get it to sit at the table?

So the wreck fed 2000 wolves?

Rather a big coincidence how close this comes to the Harry Chapin song 40,000 lb of bananas. Even happened in the same state.

Did wolves eat the chicken nuggets?

So, you just need 2,000 wolves to clean up the mess.