The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for August 12, 2022

“You only look good when I’ve got my beer goggles on…..”

As they say, often beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder!

To paraphrase Groucho, I’d never pick up anyone who’d allow herself to be picked up by someone like me.

Or wait ‘til 2:00 A.M., they’ll ALL look ravishing!!!

But by that time you yourself would feel so very suave and sophisticated — but unable to properly pronounce “sophisticated.”

♫ You’re lookin’ better ♪

♪ every beer. ♫

The closer to closing time the prettier they get. And of course she’s thinking at least he’s got all his limbs and doesn’t wear an eye patch.

But, when you sober up…!

Gosh, and she’s twins!

If that’s how it “looks” to you, then it isn’t about her “looks”. So why not be honest, and not delay your approach?

Bartinder ‘Ingredients’: “Looks can be deceiving” + Lots of Alcohol

(Possible Side Effect: You may not remember.)

All the girls all get prettier at closing time.

Reality hits, the morning after the night before.

Doesn’t necessarily involve alcohol, but an old co-worker of mine used to say, “She looked good from far, but when she got closer, she looked far from good”.

My uncle had a different approach…go ugly early.

That works both ways.

Do you look anything like your profile pic?

I just use the mug shot.

And she thought from your picture that you were only 21?

Men never figure out that it’s the woman who needs to be drunk to sleep with them.

Coyote ugly. :)

“Who is this Bart Inder of whom you speak?”

That works both ways.

The walk of shame is paved with broken glass. Do they sell stock in shame?

bartinder: the app that suggests you pick your poison