Herman by Jim Unger for September 28, 2022

Diet aid

I like your new chef already, homemade food!

“The new chef is nervous. He gave you extra ketchup to hide his blood, no charge.”

He only knows how to make liver and onions?

“… Or … since he’s new, I’ll give him another chance to do it right.”

Ketchup – AKA: La Sauce American.

It might not help but at least it would add some color.

especially if it’s the meatloaf. js

Thanks for the warning Sally!

The waitress offers a helpful hint worth a nice tip!

He owns stock in the catsup manufacturers…

“Chew, but don’t swallow.”

Quit eating there for sure.

Ketchup: the secret to culinary success!!

And lots of hot sauce.

Spent two summers at a Heinz plant in Quality Control. Those ads about slow ketchup were SERIOUS. We had a very exacting procedure for testing the viscosity of ketchup. Tested every hour for it. If the ketchup was too thin the whole hour’s production got quarantined.

I asked what happened to the quarantined ketchup; they’d re-test it a few months later and it usually passed. If it was still too runny it was shipped to Europe.

Extemporaneous FDA warning.

That would be a heavily tomatoed sloppy joe.

Time to call in Gordon Ramsey.

When my dad was in grad school, he and my mom were invited to a dinner by their neighbors. They offered ketchup/catsup. My dad was quick to point out that the only reason to use that was if the taste was too awful to tolerate.

A few minutes later, he asked for ketchup/catsup.

They never got invited back.