Monty by Jim Meddick for October 24, 2022

If you call in the next ten minutes we’ll send you a second one absolutely free (you only pay an extra $29.95 shipping and handling fee).

Monty is so clumsy I’m surprised he didn’t miss!

It uses the same technology as The Phantom’s ring.

I would buy that.

Now that is a smashing pumpkin.

But wait! There’s more!

It’s even easier to be the neighbourhood grouch and not bother with pumpkins and decorations in the first place.

Sure, if you want a generic Jack O’Lantern that looks the same a everyone else’s.

By Ronco

I think you might need a bigger hammer?

Wow, sure seems a lot easier and cheaper than my technique.

I bought a CNC 3 Axis Laser Cutter. After some thought, I did go overboard, a little.

Anyone want to see me peel an apple? I got the attachment for that, and bananas.

Funny! And we just watched a Shark Tank episode last night about a guy who invented the “pumpkin scooper glove.”

Another one of Monty’s brilliant inventions!

Throw in a set of Amazing Ginsu Knives and I’ll buy the Jack-O-Matic.

I don’t want one. All of the pumpkins will look alike. It needs Potato-Head type attachments.

Monty really is not as funny as it used to be.

Jigsaws are good. Sawzalls are a bit much.

I bought one and tried it this past weekend. My strong suggestion is to use it outside…and don’t have a person hold the pumpkin.

Given it is Monty, you would expect his "Jack-o-matic’ serves another purpose. Gotta good grip?

AFV just showed a video last night of a woman who was bragging to her husband that she’d bought jack o’ lantern seeds this year instead of regular pumpkin seeds so that they wouldn’t have to do all that messy carving. The seed packet had a picture of a carved jack o lantern so she wouldn’t believe it didn’t grow that way. My wife remarked that the woman probably thought the Crisco can contained fired chicken.

It’s gonna be fun when he sits on it!!!!!!! :)

My wife paints a face on the pumpkin for Halloween then takes it off for Thanksgiving.

Carved our pumpkins this year with cookie cutters made for that task. Worked great.

Listen, Mr.Pitchman Monty, he who would break the Fourth Wall: I don’t want your useless Jack-o-matic Instant Pumpkin Carver! We all know that in Real Life it doesn’t even work!

From an engineering perspective, the pumpkin is curved, but the Jack-O-Matic is flat. I’m just sayin… You would need a Jack-O-Matic with a curved surface, or with much deeper punches for it to work in one strike like that.

Even if it was a curved Jack-O-Matic, you would need a set of various sizes for different diameters of pumpkins.

Sorry, I’ll go away now…

Flat stamp. Curved (2 ways) pumpkin. Doesn’t match

Sorry Monty, I’m pretty sure the trademark “Jack-o-Matic” is already taken.