Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 22, 2023

Can you at least NOT be such a sloppy sloth?

Pizza on the couch and the floor? Don’t be so wasteful, Rat—EAT that pizza!

That’s recall to me an old quote by Woody Allen about quit smoking and a rainy week.

Hang in there Rat!

Like Ninja Sloth is even better.

You need to climb 37 stories of stairs to burn just 100 calories.

In reality, it’s more about raising your metabolism to burn more calories, not the exercise itself.

You’re preaching to the choir, Rat.

Gimme some CHEESEPUFFS!

Beer is better than a smoothie.

Hope like heck THIS comment beats the god-king of comments that is basilbruce, but here goes: MORE UNREFUTABLE PROOF that Sabrina the teenage witch is right in her belief, and so is everyone else who agrees with her, THAT MATH SUCKS AND BLOWS HARD!!!!!! Negative ANYTHING shouldn’t exist, much less numbers, OR IMAGINARY ONES!!!!!!

We are told that, to lose weight, we need to eat less and exercise more. Depending on how much you weigh, it can take 5-10 hours of running at 5 mph to lose 1 lb. (11-22 hours at 8 km/hour to lose 1 kg). Exercise is good for you, but the only realistic way to lose weight is to eat less.

If I did that much exercise after being sedentary for a long time I’d hurt my back or pull a muscle.

Looks like Rat and Pig are going to be good pals!

Sloths seem to be on the right track. If they weren’t, there wouldn’t be a Deadly Sin named after them.

Bring back Guard Duck and Mr Snuffles!

<—- Cursed Dairy Queen when I learn the number of calories in a Blizzard.

Or a rat.

Hanging upside down from a tree branch in South America by his toes? Whatever. To each his own. Dilly! Dilly!

Rat has been taking lessons from Garfield, I see.

Exercise is for health and long-life. Dieting is for weight loss. Don’t confuse the two.

I’m convinced exercise is a hoax. This is why.

I eat so much that instead of counting calories, I count BTUs

Exercise is not so much for weight loss, but for heart and overall health.

OY VEY‼️‼️

Maybe you should just eat less overall, Rat. And no more beer.

Or maybe just a sip of Smoothie, Rat.

And since you burn calories just by being alive, you didn’t burn 200 calories by exercising, you burned, say, 140 calories more than if you’d spent the same time on the couch.

But exercise and watching what you eat are still worth it, and can still work. Just don’t expect miracles, and don’t expect the results to be instant, or even quick.

So close yet so far, Rat.

How the heck was Daniel’s comment picked as the featured comment? What does it have to do with the cartoon today? I’m puzzled!

Rat just had an epiphany

U.S. Congress is working on an amendment reduce all adipose tissue test results by 69%.

The headband is a nice touch.

Come on Rat… Everyone knows that calorie INTAKE is best reserved for drinking Beers!

?

Sloths prefer sleeping while curled into a ball in the fork of a tropical tree. They also like to sleep hanging by their claws from tree branches.Sloths mate and give birth in trees. Courting starts when a female yells a shrill, monoton mating scream to let the males in the area know she is ready. If more than one male answers this call, the suitors will fight for her by hanging from branches by their feet and swiping at each other.Two-toed sloths are omnivorous, meaning they can consume plants and animals. Their diet includes fruits, leaves, insects and small lizards. Three-toed sloths, on the other hand, are almost entirely herbivorous (plant eaters). Their diet consists primarily of leafs and buds from select species of tree, including the leafy cecropia tree. The leafs that make up much of the sloth’s diet are difficult to digest. But like many herbivorous mammals, sloths have a multichambered stomachs filled with symbiotic bacteria that can break down cellulose.

Sloths digest food even more slowly than they eat it. In fact, it can take up to a month for a sloth to digest a single meal, according to the Jacksonville Zoo in Florida.LIVESCIENCE

…

Many Sloths eat a diet with low nutritional value which is why they take a long time to fully digest what they do eat. So they move very slowly partly because they have a relatively low calorie intake. So not exactly a model that fits Rat’s preferred lifestyle.

Why would Rat want to lose weight?

A smoothie place that puts down table cloths?

Rat’s conclusion is eminently reasonable. All that exertion can be dangerous!

The struggle is real.

I often wonder if walking the distance to McDonalds for that Big Mac combo has any benefits?