Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for April 07, 2023

I think Calvin has to mix a woodchuck in here somewhere…..

Parody of that woodchuck question?

Uncrumple that, Calvin! It’s good!

They’d hoard as much board as a Mongol could, if a Mongol got too bored.

Better spelling than most of the internet.

What happens when the cartoonist gets writer’s block?

Why don’t you go clean your room, instead???

How many hordes of boards would a bored Calvin hoard is the question.

Is Hagar the Horrible a Mongol? He sure eats enough “board”!!

The answer …… is blowing in the wind..

Genghis Khan wouldn’t let them get bored. That’s the simple answer to that riddle.

How many sheets could a sheet-slitter slit if a sheet-slitter could slit sheets?

How much ground could a ground hog grind if a groundhog could grind ground

Check your bread for fungus.

The Leith police dismisseth us,

I’m thankful, sir, to say;

The Leith police dismisseth us,

They thought we sought to stay.

The Leith police dismisseth us,

We both sighed sighs apiece;

And the sigh that we sighed as we said goodbye

Was the size of the Leith police.

If you can’t say it, you’re drunk.

LOL! Funny!

That was actually pretty good, Calvin.

There is another homonym of hoard/horde beginning with a W, understandably left out.

How much could a liberal mess up If a liberal could mess up . . . .

Not totally relevant to what Calvin was doing; but I remember having a typing teacher that did not like for people to crumple up their paper into balls, but preferred for us to fold it and put it into the trash that way!

Now do a haiku version of it, Calvin.

Apparently Watterson was bored that day! Even though, it captures Calvin’s persona.

That’s actually pretty good…LOL

How many Lowe’s could Rob Lowe rob, if Rob Lowe did rob Lowe’s?

I like it!

42. The answer is always 42.

A man a plan a canal panama.

Okay, your turn….

Not many trees out where the Mongols were, anyway.

For the Horde!

Stick to the woodchucks, Calvin.

I’m very disappointed. Hope you’re feeling better soon.

I’d tell him the answer, but I’m too busy selling seashells by the seashore, while picking a peck of pickled peppers.

LOL…. good one.

How many goons would a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck goons?

None. Mongol hoards might hoards gourds but never boards. If the hoards got bored, they could invade the fjords. :)

How much wood could a wood truck truck if a wood truck could truck wood?

But we know it can.

Not bad, Calvin.

That was actually pretty good!

can’t understand why he trashed it

Calvin has homonyms down cold.

How many cans can a canner can if a canner can can cans?

It’s an amusing wordplay

Cryptic writer in the making.

So simple, yet still a highlight.

That Mongol got bored quite easily.

He should have kept that one. In 6th grade I wrote the best poem of my career. “Vernon the vulture lived in the wood. Although mother told him he’d never be good. He ate live rabbits, live snakes, and live snails. Instead of head first he swallowed their tails.” Nothing nearly as good has crossed my mind since.

Calvin self-censors after reading AP styleguide which recommends avoiding general and often dehumanizing ‘the’ labels such as the French or the Mongols.

In case you ever wondered what the first drafts of tongue twisters were like.

I thought it was good

That probably would have been a little of a weird thing to even be a tongue twister, don’t you think?