Jeff Stahler for February 14, 2023

Getting dangerous to be a space tourist. Do you think we’ll get downgraded as a fun spring break destination?

ET phone home.

More like " We come in pieces."

Space guide book: As you near earth, beware of conflicts and maintain a safe distance. Usual viewing time about 15 revolutions, then on to the Sea of Tranquility.

Didn’t you see the quarantine sign at the edge of the solar system? It warns you that this is the the ward for the cosmically insane, and is quite possibly contagious.

Sure. Aliens come across the galaxy only to be shot down by a simple missile. They can’t handle our technology.

I’m telling you, they got their intel about this being a peaceful planet wrong. Next one will be MUCH bigger.

With all the mass shootings, in schools and colleges, who can blame them! ❤️

Again: “The surest sign that there is intelligent life in the universe is the fact that no one has tried to contact us!”

Buzz: I need to repair my turbo boosters. Are you still using fossil fuels, or have you discovered crystallic fusion?

Woody: Well, let’s see, we got double-A’s.

(Toy Story – 1995.)

As a pilot, I’ve seen a lot of UFOs. They were sightings that were apparently flying and I could not identify what they were. There is a pretty big gap between that reality and the conclusion that they are piloted by little green men (or tall, non-green women – I want to remain politically correct here). I think that there are a lot of other explanations that could work that come before that.

It’s a joke.

But..we’re harmless. Mostly.

When Lewis and Clark encountered new tribes they always came in peace, but first they demonstrated their semi-automatic 20 shot rifle, so the natives would realize the advantages of peace.

We’ve gone from “Harmless” to “Mostly Harmless” to “You’d be safer on Traal, wrestling Ravenous Bugblatter Beasts.”

Brandon of Scranton sure got tough quick, ruling by polling data. If it flies it dies apparently?