Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for March 21, 2023

Categorical denial. Felines in the sand.

Would somebody with pet tuna open a can of cat?

Don’t do it! If you give in to their terms, they’ll just hold the couch hostage every night.

A can of compressed air is your passport to cat free comfort

Millions for defense, but not one cent for tribute!

More like boarders crisis (says the person with dogs and cats at home).

These are cats, they will only move if she gets up, goes to kitchen and opens the can of tuna. He is already up so no movement by the cats, no matter what he does.

Just run the can opener . . . and stand back!

My cats move to the rustle of plastic, not all plastic mind you, just the bag that contains cat treats.

How can they tell?

really surprised that one of those cats did not have one of its hind legs raised with a very important question!

oh, i thought this was a boarder crisis. My bad.

I was informed that dogs have owners and that cats have staff. Then I got a cat that didn’t get the memo and was as affectionate as a dog. He came when called. He loved people.

There’s always the cucumber trick. Cats are terrified of cucumbers and cucumbers are normally very quiet.

What’s better than Wiley bears? Wiley cats.

Deja vu again.

Let me introduce you to Mr. Squirtbottle. That was an effective deterrent for any cat that ever lived with us. One day one of them was misbehaving as I was watering the lawn. I threatened him with “The Mother of All Squirt Bottles.”

Laser pointer spots moving around on the walls will get them moving to anywhere you want.

Thus, the Man Cave. Even if it is a space under the basement stairs. (The rest of the house is hers.)

Don’t even bring up the southern border.

Can you avert this border crisis if you just pretend that it doesn’t exist?

Can you blame someone for all the problems you have with these cats?

Or could you take some responsibility and actually do something?

Normally you wouldn’t see 5 cats together, each has their own territory

He has a newspaper. Applied correctly, that should solve the problem. Or cause a worse one.

Or throw down some noms.

Remember, Dogs have owners, Cats have Staff Members!

Who married the cat lady?

I love cats, especially with lemon butter and capers.

Our new dog(a now 3 1/2 month old rat terrier puppy-quickest dog I have ever had)always responds to the crinkling of a bag, because to her that means someone is getting her a doggy treat. Even if I am opening a bag of chips, she pesters me until I give her a treat. It worked, now every time I open a bag of chips, I pick up a doggie treat for her. She started training her humans early.

Surrender the oldest piece of furniture in the house to t he cats—-and you’ll still have plenty of choices.

This works as satire. If we can improve the conditions in other countries, which is admittedly not always easy, there is less incentive for people to flee to the U.S.A. The sanctuary process is designed to minimize the torment for those cases where we cannot make such improvements. However, the process is open to abuse by both political factions. Nevertheless, closing the barn door is not a reasonable response when the barn is on fire.

You’ve probably heard that you should always have at least one more litter box than cats. Same principle applies to chairs.

I’ve moved cats successfully before. They often called me names not appropriate for a family oriented comics web site but I got to sit down.

They’re ready to go over the top …

Wasn’t that a door from the bathroom, with him carrying a newspaper, in a recent cartoon?