Last Kiss by John Lustig for May 01, 2023

I predict a meeting of the minds. And other bits.

Fresh ashore and already found a keeper.

Cue the seamen jokes…

Found a loose cannon

Apparently the tide flows and ebbs both ways…

Seamen everywhere.

She will scrape the Barnacles off Bill the Sailor Man.

USGI pillows are distributed to all services branches. The only way to determined if the pillow was issued to a sailor is to check for seamen stains.

I used to go to the Navy open house weekends in Norfolk and toured the ships for free. Sailors are indeed an, umm, aroused lot.

[nsfw] In ‘I, Claudius’ there’s a story about Mesalina having a sex contest with a famous prostitute. The working girl’s claim to fame is that she could take the pilot boat out to a ship, and service all the sailors before he got to the docks. Isn’t history great?

All aboard!!!

Sailos on the other hand are tired of sleeping with her. They want sex, not sleep.

I predict he’s going to cross her equator, and she’s going to walk his plank.

Olive Oyl??? You’ve changed!

So have you, Popeye!

Yeah, those bunks are close quarters…

Well I’m tired of sleeping with Luca Brasi! All that humidity is murder on my coif.

“Later I’ll be heading over to the Air Force base."

Seafood is good for you.

The first stop was to start clean laundry for tomorrow. All of the clothes in the seabag smelled like they came out of a machine shop vacuum cleaner. The next stop was a vigorous shared shower to scrape off the smell of machine oil, armpits, and a$$holes.

Years ago, back when IRC Was a big thing, I remember the guys in the channel #gay_halifax getting all excited whenever a navy ship was coming in. Apparently those sailors are a randy bunch. I was too deeply closeted to partake (and truthfully, I’ve never been a 1-night-stand kind of guy), but my God, the stories that would follow after the ship left port again…

….so he sent her back to his ship.

I rarely ran into that situation when I was a sailor.

Cue this song, Martin Mull “Men, Men, Men,”

There is a saying about taking your turn in the barrel. Seemed this sailor needed attention so the Chief told him to go to the barrel. He did as instructed and was very satisfied. The next day he reported to the Chief. The Chief told him It’s your turn in the barrel today.

♪It’s ⁠raining men♪