Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for June 29, 2023

“Lisa’s Story” is not an experience I would want to share with anyone. But Tom is going to make us all share it together anyway.

So, in other words, it’s a movie theatre.

All you “Write a funnier comic!” People: Here’s your chance. Write a funnier punchline. Bonus point if it uses “HVAC.”

For one thing, at home you don’t get the feeling of a kid behind you kicking your seat. And at home you have better snacks to enjoy.

and cleaner restroom.

“We want to share the experience of strangers talking during the movies! Of buying overpriced popcorn and Necco Wafers! Of having your feet stick to the blobs of spilled cola on the floor! Of having your view blocked by the lady in the big hat seated in front of you!”

I believe having “a shared experience with others” at the movies is what got Paul “Pee-wee Herman” Reubens in trouble with the state of Florida back in 1991.

“in that place” “with others”

The cemetery?

Do they have the reclining chairs?

“Too bad they’re all down at the multiplexes watching new movies instead of four year old stinkers.”

I haven’t been to a movie theatre in over 20 years.

Oh, so the balcony will be a make out place for young couples.

Don’t be a “Debbie Downer”.

Unh…….that face.

I think maybe even the cardboard cutout of Crankshaft would help this one.

“Because people can’t get together in those big multiplexes!”

Seriously though, PEOPLE are the worst part of the theater experience! Talking, using their phones, eating, moving around… It’s all too annoying! And I have an 85" TV, so I’m not missing that much!

I prefer the shared experiences from when it was a strip club!

Crank, “Them evil kids behind me keep kickingthe back of my seat!”

Eve, “Would you consider m00ning them?That sight should set them rascals a runnin’ fur da hills!”

SO! Anyone wanna lay odds on Skippy actually asking M. Jarree a question? Nah, I didn’t think so.

“Rather than sitting at home alone streaming movies….they can come here and watch the same movie that was only available by streaming years ago after it bombed in the theaters. Now they can pay a lot more money to watch it again, instead of just rewatching it at home.”

Might not be ready yet for that, noble as it may be….

The movies they will show probably won’t attract those young annoying movie goers. I think it’s a great idea. Let them show films like “Rear Window” and “To Have and Have Not”, “Casablanca”, “On the Waterfront”. I’d pay to see all of them again on a big screen. (I did see “Rear Window” on a big screen when they had a major theatre rerelease back in 1982 or so. It was great to see a Hitchcock film on the big screen. Also rereleased “Vertigo” back then. Awesome.

Well hopefully it does better this time around!