Herman by Jim Unger for August 15, 2023

If you lived here in Texas and the weather report would be hot today and HOT TOMORROW FOLLOWED BY MORE HOT

He is right.

He forgot “periods of light followed by darkness.

“Not much chance of snow, but you never know!”

Everybody complaints about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. I blame the government.

And now over to Bob for sports. Bob says: half the teams won and half the teams lost.

Really going out on a limb, eh Hoss?

That about covers it, you’re on your own, good night.

The periods of rain will come now and then.

Sometimes it’s the other way around. The variety is refreshing.

Hey Kay, hows your pasa?

Most accurate weatherman EVER. Hope he gets paid decent.

I hate politicians, lawyers & local TV meteorologists, not necessarily in that order.

In certain areas of this country, at this time of year, snow would be added to periods of cloud and rain

Tonight’s forecast DARK. Followed by widely scattered light in the morning.

Radar is picking up a line of thunderstorms moving into the region. It’s also picking up a squadron of Russian ICBMs so I wouldn’t sweat the thunderstorms.

(with apologies to George Carlin)

Yeah.. yeah? Okay.. go on.. when?

Obviously the station is not in Seattle. The forecast is for rain followed by periods of rain.

Seattle is a Native American word for overcast and raining.

He probably got that backwards.

Sounds so familiar….

He must be forecasting the Pacific Northwest (most of the year, anyway.)

The weatherperson’s forecast is always correct, it is their calendar that is wrong.

Obviously, he’s talking about Michigan!

Temperature will be unpredictable.

Sounds accurate.

nailed it

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. – George Carlin

Can’t go wrong with generic forecast.

As Al Sleet, the hippy-dippy weatherman predicted: “Tonight’s forecast: dark! With widely-scattered light in the morning.”

Winds will Vary. That depends of where you eat.

For all the modern tech they use these days, they still get it wrong half the time. “Rain will start around 2 pm.” Wake up at 8 AM. It’s already raining. “Snow will miss the southtowns this time.” Drive out there, snow gets heavier the further into that area you get. “Light showers.” Sir, your version of “light showers” does not remotely match mine. And what’s with the reluctance to say “windy” or “cold”? 35 mph winds does not equal “breezy.” Minus 4F is not “chilly.” What a racket.

in Wisconsin we say if you don’t like our weather wait 5 minutes, it will change

That’s about right.

Hot. Then hot. Then hot. Climate change sucks.