Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for July 29, 2023

Long Pork Loaf, an old Sawney Bean clan recipe.

He was ill-bred and crusty and just loafed around the house. But he was easy to slice.

“And like all his ideas, he’s only half-baked!”

Herbert Crocker I presume?

One and the same

He likes to loaf around the house.

He’s dead, and you’re about to take a bite out of him.

At least he made SOME amount of bread!

We didn’t call him the eight hour loaf for nothing.

That loaf is looking rather ashen

“The name’s Loaf. Herb Loaf.”

Hubby John had 6 over 51 days.

The only time ol’ Herb was a prize winner.

This is Mrs Oona Goosepimple…the great, great granddaughter of *Sweeney Todd! She was always a great cook and her specialty was hand pies……she always made them for the ladies auxiliary at the church when they had festivals and or celebrations. ☺️

*Sweeney Todd was finally caught when the smell from the decomposing remains left under the St. Dunstan church got so bad that parishioners could no longer stand it and an investigation was conducted. Todd was eventually tried and hung ☹️

A Betty Rubble Crocker Recipe. The bible of kitchen cook book’s, yes sir Herbert, you are welcome.

She lovingly spent quite a lot of time & strength grinding up dem bones!

File in the middle for the prison breakout. Hack saw said the blind man on the pot.

Herb is toast…or will be.

Tarzan tell Jane and chimpanzee, “Banana Bread Baked better than licking the wood spoon of lion King as I amm King of jungle”.

I ain’t buyin’ it (the necklace (are those Herb’s teeth?), the (to quote Nickelback) “evil smile”, and the blue ribbon from the Associated Daughters of Early American Witches are all clues that Denmark is not the only place where something is rotten)

Mrs. Lovett was a waste not-want not sort of cook. Her late husband, Herbert, being the stout fellow he was, provided many tasty meals for their friends and neighbors.

…you are what you eat…

…so Herbert is a hamloaf…

…me…

…Vienna sausages every work day…

..different flavors, though…

…yea! The shortage is finally over…

…and yogurt…

…different flavors, Teresa, too…

…and rice crispy treats…

…the chocolate and/or strawberry are hard to find…

…but worth it…

…unlike chocolate bars or other treats…

…they don’t melt in your pocket…

…so they are good to carry to break…

…today…

…hot & spicy with key lime…plain rice crispy…

…if I am what I eat…

…I am a junk food junkie…

…with a side order of lame…

Fee fi fo fum.

Ris de veau; Sweetbread

Arsenic and old stale bread …!

She told him she’d make something out of him.

A hearty loaf with strong umami overtones.

Herb was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

That gave me a real “Twilight Zone” vibe.

Herbert rhymes with sherbet, and I am sad there is no blue today. Not even in the ribbon. This AI thing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

That is one evil grin.

Freudian slip.

Soylent Hubert.

Ope, haha!!

Yes, yes, we all understand exactly what you mean, Mrs. Todd. After all, you are the Demoness Baker of Fleet Street! I gather you and HerbertLoaf inherited the old barbershop business from great-uncle Sweeney?

Tradition is a wonderful thing. Tasty, too.

Fresh, buttered Herbert, with a tomato slice, ham, mustard, and cheese. AttaPoorboy, Herb!

Burp.

She’s a gold digger. She married him for the bread. HAW! … is this thing on?