Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 24, 2023

My life doesn’t come with a mini-fridge.

♪ ♫    You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave

How do I find the ice machine?

and you can’t ask for a late check out time either, though lifestyle can extend your stay somewhat…

Or the Hotel California!

Food for thought.

No Exit.

Some people want to know when the world is going to end.

It could end for them (or you) at (almost) any time.

At first I thought the sign said “Wipe a$$ on the hill”.

Life is fatal.

As long as there is room service.

And some get room service and a silver spoon.

We all have an expiration date but no one can see it.

Has the hill gotten thinner or is it just me?

Our existence is a strange journey

We are guests, and our hotel is the earth

Some leave, and others come in their place

For new groups always fill in the gaps

There are some who yearn to take this journey

But there are others who fear it.

And some people are in a great hurry

But others sit by the hotel window and wait

Hotel Earth by Tómas Guðmundsson

youtube . com / watch?v=Dwtrc-pMJpQ

(remove the spaces)

I’ve heard some say that we live in a hologram. In some sense, I think they are right.

Next time ask Larry Croc ;-)

Their shoes have some really good traction. Also, I know where I’M going when I leave this hotel. HEAVEN, for I know and love JESUS. When you check out, there are only 2 destinations. Heaven, or hell. Now let the hateful responses begin.

And somehow, many of us think we own the hotel room. Or even the whole hotel.

“We are all living in a Dying Hotel” as sung by Blood, Sweat and Tears!

Royal Penthouse Suite, Hotel President Wilson, Geneva, Switzerland From $123,420 per night

What are the mini bar and cable selections? Does the Wifi work? Bring your own soap and shampoo.

Are the towels kinda scratchy?

“Everyone thinks they’ll be the one to defeat me… but no one’s escaped me yet.”

-Wolf, Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

Life is like a race, you’ll get to the finish line eventually.

So at any minute, they can just toss you out. I can see this …

[sings] Enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think!

Prepare to meet your Maker. No, seriously, don’t take a chance, do the research and find the way to a blessed afterlife. Seek and ye shall find. Or if not, well best wishes and good luck with that. Just a friendly suggestion.

Everyone ends up by dying to get out of here. Be joyful that you are alive. You got here without anything and you leave without anything. Appreciate the love you got and gave.

I knew a guy who knew the exact date and time of his death.

A judge told him.

What are those noisy idiots doing on the parking lot at 3 a.m.?

Her mind is Tiffany twisted, she got the Mercedes bends

The wiseass on the hill is right!

What would you do if you knew the ‘checkout date’?

I’m hoping I can upgrade to a better room

Is breakfast included?

Think that hill’s steep enough?

Your bags should always remain packed and ready.

I like Sandy Denny’s description, and probably so does Wise A$$: “This one-way donkey ride.”

LIFE IS LIKE A TOY BALLOON

YOU START IT OUT BY REACHING FOR THE MOON

YOU HUFF,YOU PUFF,YOU THINK YOU’VE WON THE RACE

THEN…BOOM!! THE WHOLE THING BLOWS UP IN YOUR FACE!

Helloooo…Rock Bottom here…..

I can’t help but wonder, what’s the overall shape of Wise [banned] on the Hill’s hill?

Inspiring quite form “Great Wise Asz”

It is what it is, Pig, as they say. And as they also say, it sure beats the alternative….