Close to Home by John McPherson for August 26, 2023

It might be Bleeb causing his shivering timbers.

she gave him an arrrx (prescription)

I want to see her test his reflexes on the wooden leg hidden by his trousers. Call it the knock on wood test.

Got the eyepatch on the first day with the hook

Arrr there any side effects?

Arrr1

He’s got a pirate advantage plan, is this covered? Is she “in-network”?

…But it won’t help the planking.

Every time I swim the effects are “Shrivel me Member.”

Careful not to get hooked on them.

If you want to stop your timbers from shivering use an undercoat before the top coat! Or, I will say this only once, lagging.

Is that a hook? Or are you just glad to see me?

OK, Bleeb. At least you have the right idea. Now if it wasn’t for those stupid scrubs . . .

It’s a good thing he has the skull and crossbones on his hat, otherwise I would have a hard time telling that he is a pirate.

Also planking is good too

Your condition is most likely caused by a vitamin C deficiency!

I mean… Arrrrrr, you be havin’ the scurvy, you lilly-livered Picaroon!

Be happy you’re timbers can still shiver. More of them blue pills, please!

Auuuurgh! …is there a hook sharpening shop around here?

Hey, that’s a great idea. Even Myth Busters never took on shivering timbers. …do they still have poop decks?

But I thought it was a good thing? They never say: “Stop shivering me timbers”…

I’ll bet he doesn’t have any problem opening pill bottles!!!!!!!!! Hiya Bleeb!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

A cure for Peter Pan angst???

Not if he gets your bill in 2 weeks.

Careful Bleeb shivering timbers, could be contagious.

“There is one side effect. A powerful urge to scratch your groin with your left, uh, hand.”

He’s hiding his peg-leg…

“If he takes 2 a day for 7 days he’ll end up 55378008”

shivers = splinters so so meds not gonna help unless its infected

A man asks a pirate “how did you get your wooden leg?” “Well, said the pirate, I was out in the middle of the ocean and in the middle of battle when a cannon ball hit me and ripped me leg clean off.” “And how did you loose your hand” the man asked again. “that was during a sword fight. He cut my hand off at the wrist and I had it replaced with this sharp hook”. “And lastly, how did you loose your eye”? “Well said the pirate, rather sheepishly, I was on the deck and I looked up to the sky just as a seagull pooped straight into my eye…”

Captain Hook finally seeks help for his ‘Tic-Tock-Croc’ phobia!!!