That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for September 11, 2023

Eleanor Ridgely lives in a dream where she’s not married to Benjamin Laming.

/// This odd scene’s filled with objects symbolic,

like the spyglass, its size hyperbolic.

Length and girth overreaches,

plus it’s aimed at her peaches.

Ben and Eleanor— eager to frolic.

Steve Miller suddenly comes up with the lyrics for “Space Cowboy”after his uncle Maurice tells him the story of shaking the peaches out of her tree

“Yes dear,THAT rod is quite lovely.”

No you may not freshen my blooms with your drool.

Would you like to finger my walnetto?

I may need a cane soon…..must give it some thought…….Apple? You guys make an iCane yet?

“So???”

“No.”

She glances at the position of cane and says “I like where this is going.”

It really is rather uncanny/

How he’s drawn to that canyon on Annie/

The crevasse which reflects/

The one which bisects/

The crease that cleaves Annie’s fair ”fanny”.

Alice was beginning to think there was more to his compliment on her flower and peaches.

“Yes, my dear Alice, it IS a phallic symbol …. and an accurate representation, too.”

Fred was working up the nerve to try a bit of “flower picking”

I’m telling you, Martha, cannabis is the cash crop of the future, and not just because of the pretty flowers. Let’s fire up a bowl and I’ll tell you how it will change this new nation of ours.

And guess what baby?! It gets longer.

He’s a gentleman – he’s not a knave/

And so she will go to her grave/

Untouched by this dunce/

Who won’t take what he wants/

Although “Fortune favors the brave!”

“Okay, so you have a point- we’re both overcompensating.”

Dear Adele, Can I please pluck those flowers from your (sigh) breasts……

“Oh Wilbert, you devil.” “Yes I am.”

♫ Eleanor Ridgely, holding some fruit on her lap as she sits by her man. Lives in a dream world, holding his arm and not saying a word. Ah look at all the lonely people. ♫ (Many many apologies to Gocomics readers and especially The Beatles.)

“Down, boy.”

Luigi’s the kind of a fella/

Who is simply content to compel a/

Pretty girl to comply/

With a thrust at her thigh/

But he seldom gets past her patella.

I spy with my long eye….

“No, Charles, you may not play ‘she loves me, she loves me not’!”

Benjamin and Eleanor Ridgely Laming: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Portrait paintings in the National Gallery of Art" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string E10782, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly life size painting. Other versions has the strip coloration image.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3184 (September 11, 2023) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .jpeg from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, 4 works by him have been used here (5 times total, including 1 repeat), the September 10, 2014, strip being the prior (the repeat). GoComics has deactivated the hyperlinks and removed the new lines in my comment there; but, perhaps the text remains informative.

/// She looked down and then went into shock.

He said “Been like this since one o’clock

in the morning, I think.

Now past noon, still won’t shrink.

It’s far more than eight hours— call the Doc!”

When the lady is far from a virgin/

And the “beast” is beginning to burgeon/

Be quick to respond/

To the “wave” of the “wand” -/

There’s no need to summon a surgeon!

It looks like the artist painted the same face on both bodies. Did Eleanor not show up for the portrait?

Alec Baldwin gets lucky. :)

He has his bat all warmed up and is ready to hit that flower arrangement out of the park.

Lady prissy is just dreaming that lord Jame’s staff is as big as his cane.

Wishful thinking. It’s not the size of your staff. Or, so I’ve heard.

/// “This huge telescope here in my lap,

shows you I am a well-endowed chap.

No, I’m not the same size,

but when held to your eyes,

the strong lenses will narrow the gap.”

“Benjamin and Eleanor Ridgley Laming,” 1788

Not to worry dear. I think we’ll get along fine. Mine are as fake as yours is.

Reminds of the line excised from Blazing Saddles when Lili is seducing sheriff Bart. Instead of "It’s twue, it’s twue! after the zipper sfx the original was “Baby, that’s my arm” (or words to that effect).

Tuesday:He’s il maestro- he never sweats/

No matter how hot it gets/

Though Sicilian Summer/

Is hard on a strummer/

Still his fingers fly over the frets/

No composer upsets his composure:

Can he keep pace with a piccolo? Sure !

He plays Frescobaldi /

As well as aVivaldi../

He brings any concerto to closure…///

He can play either fast or slow /

Play Baroque or ornate Rococo/

But he’s always in hock/

Cause the whole world wants Rock/

So he can’t seem to make much dough.