That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for September 18, 2023

“Is this the nonchalant, devil may care look you want?”

/// All grown-up, Jack, of beanstalk renown,

posed with loot that he stole— like that crown.

Now, the dead Giant’s son,

(who weighs more than a ton),

wearing massive red gloves, gives “thumbs down.”

He’s 145 lbs naked and 210 lbs clothed.

Little John hated having to wear his brother Alfred the Great’s hand-me-downs

Yeah, he was the original Twisted Sister.

If Freddie Mercury played in the 1700’s!

And everyone looked at me when someone found a hair in their pasta.

Is that mutton on his head? Baaaaaaaa.

His Papa was a Frise Bichon/

Who happily “buried his bone” /

In a cute kitchen maid/

(To the kennel she’d strayed/

And he just couldn’t leave her alone). ///

Her return to the pantry delayed/

By the beast, the sweet lass was “waylaid”. /

But their child’s a success/

(You can tell by his dress)/

Though he never learned either one’s trade ..///

Their progeny’s name was Daniel./

Poorly suited to labor that’s manual/

He wisely preferred/

To “work with the word”-/

(An unusual choice for a spaniel)…///

Though his writings are trivially trite/

And he cannot stop howling at night/

He unfailingly trees/

Every squirrel that he sees/

And his bark is much worse than his bite.

Johnny Winter found his Woodstock outfit too hot to perform in.

“What should I hold in my portrait. Something I can wield to great effect. Sword… no, scepter…, ah, a c-note.”

Before the invention of Photoshopping, there was “artistic license” to cover a bald spots. This artist had his license revoked.

An early portrait of Henry, Earl of Poodle.

Are you sure you didn’t mean The First Earl of Clairol?

Think twice before using industrial strength Rogaine

The poodle look was in fashion

How long do I have to stand here?

A rare copy of George Washington’s presidential portrait. When he saw it, he realized he had to cut his hair so there would be room for his head to be on the dollar bill.

John had a hairy white cat

That he wore on his head as a hat

People thought it was dead

But it was specially bred

To pounce when it detected a rat.

.

John had worn other things as head fleece

Such as chickens and ducks and geese

But his smooth hairless pate

Seemed a large egg, and sad to relate,

A brooding ostrich nearly caused his decease.

.

Primates seemed worthwhile to try

So John sought a gibbon to buy

He named it small Fitz

But ‘tween obnoxious spits

And interest in t!ts it caused moral outcry

.

So John chose cats of breeds mild in mood

That seldom were overtly rude,

And that seemed to follow politics

Only in between languid licks

Demanding only sleep and seafood.

So guys, I’m thinking the rally cry for our revolt against English taxation should be “We’re Not Gonna Take It”.

Gilbert Stuart made himself quite a name, Doing portraits he acquired some fame, But if you look very close, At the eyes and the nose, All of his faces look very much the same.

His lordship is said to keep/

His personal herd of sheep/

For the cold he doth dread./

It protecteth his head -/

But it certainly isn’t cheap.

At 45, John still liked to play with his mother’s ermine stole.

Well …. what do you think of my new ringtone?

One parent was an Afghan….hound

“What do you mean, my muttonchops are out of control?”

Lord Gibbon eventually grew tired of wearing a dead seal on his head.

“It wasn’t me! I didn’t topple the display!! It must have been someone else. Don’t look at me like that!”

“Well, whatever you say, I happen to think epaulets are in fashion these days.”

Fashion wear after climate change regulation bans home central heating.

Baron FitzGibbon: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:1789 oil on canvas paintings in the United States" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string Baron, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly life size painting. If your browser isn’t set up to handle .tiff images, to see an enlarged image there and avoid the 66.9 MB image download to your device, click a size under the image, rather than the image itself.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3188 (September 18, 2023) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, 2 works by him have been used here, the April 24, 2013, strip being the prior. GoComics has deactivated the hyperlinks and removed the new lines in my comment there; but, perhaps the text remains informative.

That was one huge bird … and it hit its target directly.

John Fitzgibbon, the 1st Earl of Clare, wishing it had been the 1st Earl of Clairol so his gray could be more advanced.

Robert Plant getting frisky with his doorknob collection. (I’d know those pants anywhere!)

:)

prince harry can’t wait for king to die so he can become queen.

One of the original “Big Wigs”.

Dr. Moreau’s early experiment with a poodle.

/// Growing bald in your teens isn’t fair.

He’d do anything just to have hair.

Pledged in Hades he’d dwell

for a strong witch’s spell

that would stimulate follicles there.

/// When he tried “Eye of Newt, Toe of Frog,”

the mix caused his bald pate pores to clog.

He fell into a funk

and got blind, stinkin’ drunk.

The next day he had “Hair of the Dog.”

“I’m never sure if I’m having a bad hair day or if it’s perfect.”

I was giving my hair a bubble bath when you said I had to come here quickly. What of it?

It’s Absoka’s colorless male counterpart!

For Tuesday:

By the window they sat and conversed/

And the news Clarice got was the worst. /

She strove for control:/

She did not get the role/

Although she had madly rehearsed.///

O how could she ever extend/

Congrats to her fortunate friend?/

Must she play understudy/

To her old bosom buddy?/

To what depths is she doomed to descend?///

The Earl holdeth a yard sale..