Close to Home by John McPherson for October 29, 2023

that is about how it seems, maybe we should be like Charlie Browns neighbors and give rocks?

Give them each a quarter and send them on their way.

SLAM!

And no added sugars!!!

Here enjoy these packets of condiments I collected from McDonalds, Taco Bell and I-Hop

I’m handing out bottled water. And they better not complain about plastic!

Give them all Halloween greeting cards.

When I first started trick-or-treating there were lots of caramel apples and popcorn balls. Not that we liked popcorn balls. Or caramel apples. But still.

“Here you are…” – “But there’s nothing!” – “Exactly. Isn’t that great?”

That big kid’s “Karen” costume is the most frightening one. The “Karen” monster has ruined what was once a fun holiday.

So true! Nothing much has changed since 2017.

If you see something in the bowl that works for you, great.

If not … Sorry. This is not a restaurant.

Is Bleeb out doing his own Trick or Treating?

And if the kid gets something they are allergic to, they’ll sue whomever they think they got the candy from… Same reason our hospital stopped x-raying candy from the trick or treaters. Too much liability if something was missed.

I’m on Keto and don’t have a speck of sugar in the house (nor allow it) but I do have free coupons for DQ Sundaes to hand out!

A Bleebless repeat from 2017. So I’m gonna share an offering from Granny’s cookbook.

Boiled Mule with Cornbread and Dandelion Greens

I’m not sure how I’m gonna tackle this one, I don’t keep a lot of mule on hand, actually, not any! And I’m not sure if it’s an item Walmart carries! Sooooooo, mule… there it is… oh boy.

But Jed might’ve said: “Welllll-Doggies… that mule is so lazy, he has to lean-up against sump’n just to buck!”

Sooo more for me then….

Fine. You get nothing except for a Milk Bone. Enjoy.

I’m handing out snickers bars. That’s the treat. The tricky stuff is up to you. See ya. Wouldn’t wanna be ya.

They get what they get and they can trade when they get home.

Or give them all rocks.

Ya get what ya get, ya little ingrates. You sort it out at home…

Your begging at doors for free candy. Ya gets what ya gets.

Ha! Apparently Beggars can be choosers!

You know, you really should err on the safe side and stay home.

That’s why I give out sugar free gum.

Charlie Brown got a rock. But he can only have sedimentary rocks. He’s allergic to Igneous rocks.

Here you go kids – some nice, rice cakes.

And that is why I give out toys!

Attention-cravers depicted in this ’toon should just stay home.

I keep the sugar-based candy (lollipops, hard candies, etc) separate from the “every kind of allergen is in there” candy, and have non-candy treats (stickers, spider rings, vampire fangs, etc) as well. The kids can choose what they want. But, I’d never demand that another house hands out allergen free stuff, or anything at all. Sheesh.

You have two choices…Take it or leave it! Now get lost or I will sic my dogs on you.

Sugar cubes for everyone!!!

give them all a box of raisins… they’ll never be back!

The absolute seething hatred boomers seem to hold for children with allergies will forever baffle me. Like, you wouldn’t tip over a guy’s wheelchair to prove you didn’t take his condition seriously (would you?), what makes this accommodation so ridiculous?

Shut up and take what I’ve got or go away! You may like these arsenic balls. Quite tasty really.