Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for November 22, 2023

  1. Tile dumbbells
    Liam G.P  12 months ago

    Then why the hell are they still working there??!?

     •  Reply
  2. Unnamed
    The dude from FL  Premium Member 12 months ago

    Wild turkeys are hard to shoot, we had them in NY and never heard of somebody shooting one. BUT I never got a pheasant either so I should shut up!

     •  Reply
  3. Large telegoons
    blunebottle  12 months ago

    And impossible that I will eat it.

     •  Reply
  4. Missing large
    littlejohn Premium Member 12 months ago

    Why was the Turkey late for dinner.

    He was busy getting dressed.

     •  Reply
  5. Missing large
    littlejohn Premium Member 12 months ago

    Why did the turkey cross the road?

    Because the chickens weren’t around.

     •  Reply
  6. Missing large
    littlejohn Premium Member 12 months ago

    I was at the store with my wife picking out a turkey and she seemed unimpressed by the size. She asked “do they get any bigger?”

    I looked her in the eyes and replied “no honey, they’re dead.”

     •  Reply
  7. Missing large
    littlejohn Premium Member 12 months ago

    Why did the Turkey want to join a band?

    Because it had drumsticks.

     •  Reply
  8. Missing large
    littlejohn Premium Member 12 months ago

    What do you get when you cross a turkey with a ghost?

    A poultrygeist!

     •  Reply
  9. Missing large
    littlejohn Premium Member 12 months ago

    Shot my first turkey this morning.

    Scared the daylights out of the people in the frozen food section.

     •  Reply
  10. Missing large
    littlejohn Premium Member 12 months ago

    Did you hear that I won the Thanksgiving turkey cookoff?

    You Butterball-ieve it!

     •  Reply
  11. Snake on a hat 2003
    BigDaveGlass  12 months ago

    It’s a bit like Mock Turtle…..

     •  Reply
  12. Fb img 1516982044221
    jagedlo  12 months ago

    And still, you thought they would get one for you, Fink?

     •  Reply
  13. Missing large
    geese28  12 months ago

    Looks like a pile of, well you know, the thing

     •  Reply
  14. Missing large
    proclusstudent  12 months ago

    If thburzere are impossible burgers, why not impossible turkeys? I woulda thunk the Fink could do better.

    Turkeys in the mid evil period would be an anachronism any way as they were only in the New World which the Europeans hadn’t invented yet.

     •  Reply
  15. Th 9
    Count Olaf Premium Member 12 months ago

    If he’s lucky, the clowns will give him a cream pie for dessert.

     •  Reply
  16. Img 5203
    rockyridge1977  12 months ago

    They can see movement almost a hundred yards away.Turkeys are social animals. They enjoy the company of other creatures, including humans.Turkeys can recognize each other by their voices, and more than 20 unique vocalizations have been identified in wild turkeys. They are incredibly curious and inquisitive animals who enjoy exploring.Turkeys are highly intelligent animals who, just like the dogs and cats in our homes, are playful individuals with unique personalities.Turkeys form strong social bonds and show affection towards one another.Turkeys are gentle creatures who enjoy socializing with human companions and protecting other turkeys with whom they’ve bonded.In the wild, mother Turkeys naturally raise their chicks for five months and fiercely protect them from danger. Wild turkeys can fly at speeds of up to 55 miles per hour and run at speeds of up to 25 miles per hour. The natural lifespan of the turkey is up to 10 years

     •  Reply
  17. Missing large
    1953Baby  12 months ago

    That turkey looks awful. Apparently, the cook there is no better than the idjits who can’t shoot. . .

     •  Reply
  18. Picture 001
    rshive  12 months ago

    Hire the Huns! And invite them as welcome guests.

     •  Reply
  19. Img 1157
    brick10  12 months ago

    Tofu-rkey? Impossible to eat!

     •  Reply
  20. 96480   copy  2
    Goat from PBS  12 months ago

    My impossible turkey is called, “Ham.”

     •  Reply
  21. Giphy downsized
    Angry Indeed Premium Member 12 months ago

    I’m sorry but the longer I look at it, the more I see a fresh whopping tƏrd with vapors that will make the mouths on flies water with delight

     •  Reply
  22. Captain smokeblower
    poppacapsmokeblower  12 months ago

    Hunting turkey with a crossbow is challenging, to say the least.

     •  Reply
  23. Crazyforkedindianpalmsquirrel max 1mb
    B UTTONS  12 months ago

    But Sire, to shoot the real Turkey would be an attack on the monarch.

     •  Reply
  24. Img 3682
    PlatudimusAtom Premium Member 12 months ago

    The kingdom of Id serving impossible Turkey, centuries ahead of Beyond Meat.

     •  Reply
  25. Homer simpson
    kcgtsv  12 months ago

    “Impossible” turkey will taste better anyway—-not all dry from over-cooking.

     •  Reply
  26. Kirby close up with poppies behind   close cropped
    mistercatworks  11 months ago

    Never eat food with funny trademarked names.

     •  Reply
  27. Img 20240924 104124950 2
    David Huie Green LoveJoyAndPeace  11 months ago

    It is bad when a turkey can outsmart you.

     •  Reply
Sign in to comment

More From Wizard of Id