Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for December 08, 2023

Oh yeah!

You think that’s something? Get reach for…eggnog!

PEZ might bring back their original flavor for an extraterrestrial market

They’re only here for the toothpaste.

Are you ingesting it, or applying it externally?

And here I thought it would be wintergreen.

they’re always on the lookout for the perfect mint condition collectible

The creatures of Sxctyj VIII

Were trained to be very sedate

In matters of musical tone

They preferred it to be in a drone.

And art on their world wasn’t emphatic

To us it seemed just random static.

.

So when they went out into Space

No joy did they find anyplace.

The nebulae gave them no delight,

Some stars seemed quite overly bright.

So it’s surprising they visited Earth,

A small blue marble of limited worth.

.

They moped around, in sea and on land

Finding everything boringly bland.

Their sense of taste had long gone dull

Nothing seemed to have flavor at all.

But then there came a surprise,

A thrill that opened their eyes!

.

Peppermint here had that unique flavor

That brought back their sense of savor!

They couldn’t get enough of it!

So much so, it was unfortunate

Their entire civilization shattered —

That cursed peppermint was all that mattered!

they’re easily impressed…

…Peppermint Patty was the heroine of the people of Uranus…

…or was it…

…their heroin…

…in a strange quark of of Uranus’ AI system…

…(you can call me Eddie…

…and when you call me Eddie…

…I will call you Al)…

…Patty became both to the things that lived on Uranus…

…not even Snoop was as popular…

…the chill of Peppermint…

…while listening to Led Zeppelin’s In Through The Out Door…

…and watching Star Trek wipe out Klingons…

…was a Friday night favorite…

…was…

…as they say it…

… The Shiii …

…er…

…let’s just say, The Bomb…

…because of the popularity of Peppermint Patty…

…they had to build a ring around Uranus…

… but eventually…

…the things came back down to Earth…

…and most only visited Uranus once in a great while…

…like on your birthday…

…or Christmas…

I prefer wintergreen

Give him a shot of peppermint schnapps.

I would think they’d enjoy the sparkling drops of retsyn

Some of us Earthlings need to apologize to our co-workers, children and grandchildren, having accused them of stealing our peppermints.

I remember this.

Just wait til they get into some catnip.

Hide all the thin mints! (Semi-sweet chocolate is known to be toxic to aliens.)

I like butterscotch … and … scotch and butter!

my arm stays on even if its broken off

Just wait until you taste wintergreen!

the smell of greasepaint thrill of the crowd

Let’s face it. We DO have the best peppermint in the galaxy.

Then you can come to my house for peppermint shortbread cookies.

My oral cavity has never felt fresher.

A peppermint anal probe is soooo Frog Applause. It reaffirms my suspicions that Teresa is an alien.

I liked the tang of brake pad dust.

Dogs. With cats a close second.

Somehow, they ended up in the wrong strip.

What you clearly need, my friend, is my Guide for the Inexperienced Alien, available wherever good books are sold, and now for a limited time available at the low, low sale price of only $39.99 (S & H separate)! No personal checks. All standard credit or debit cards accepted. You need this! (It’s not a cook book!)

Schnapps.