Daddy's Home by Tony Rubino and Gary Markstein for January 09, 2024

Why do you want dead people to come to your funeral?

I want to just pass quietly, no funeral or anything, just me and a plaque on my cigar box, “That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.”

The people whose funerals he attends are hardly likely to then attend his, unless the Great Zombie Apocolypse comes about- and then what’s the point of having a funeral?

Would you want that?

It’s hard to find living human brains for the funeral feast afterwards – especially after a decent wake.

And don’t get deceived by the German word “Leichenschmaus” – we don’t usually eat our deceased.

I doubt you’ll care when the time comes.

If I have a funeral it will be someone elses choice.

If I attend your funeral don’t force yourself to come to mine.

Plus, sometimes, the food at the wake is really good.

Hmmmmmmmmm!

It’s the best way to find out where the dinner is.

ah… a cunning plan. I thought he was going to say “for the free food”

He wants a bunch of dead people to come to his funeral because they owe him.

kinda like a party crasher…only different!

The only reason they’d go to yours Stan is to make sure you’re gone.

How about that free buffet after?…