Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for January 30, 2024

What is wrong with Luann? This isn’t that tough of an assignment. 1st date, 1st kiss, 1st concert etc…

Hmmm.. I wonder what Tiffany is up to?

Hey everybody, fun activity today: let’s show Luann how easy this assignment is by giving a brief description of some of our first experiences from our lives (as long as they’re within reason in this comment section). Each person reply to this thread with sharing such a first experience, then prompt the next commentator with the next first experience. I’ll start: tell us your first time going somewhere all by yourself.

Luann in School and High School, you had to write essays that some were 2 to 3 pages long.

B is on Luann’s last nerve. Just stuff your face with that junk food, B, and leave the girl alone…

We might find out a lot here. Or not

Yeah, let’s get personal…

This looks like the end of a lo-o-o-ong friendship. High time, too!!

Gross. Keep your hand out of Greg!

The first time I got a monkey was when my mom, my sister and I were walking past a pet shop in Washington, D.C. He was so cute and so small. My mom felt so sorry for him and bought him on impulse. We had him for about 5 years. We learned a lot from and about him. We loved him a lot and he loved us back, but, bhe most important thing was MONKEYS SHOULD NOT BE PETS. THEY ARE TOO SMART AND SHOULD BE LEFT IN WILD.

Officially confirmed – Luann is 19. I hope close to 20. Maybe in five years G & K will buy her a drink.

June 18, 2014, the high school banner reads, Class of 2014. Now today Bernice tells Luann that she’s 19. It took 10 years to age 1 year. Now, that. would. freak. me. out.

Luann’s first fear? Feeling insignificant?

Luann has done many 1st things that are not important to her? But She believes that she is a force to be reckoned with! (see March 17, 1985)

The firs time I “made a declarative sentence” oh wait that hasnt happened yet for either of them.

Bernice is eating a box of Greg 1-30s.

Looks like Karen’s gearing up for an arc on writing a story about “The first time I (blank) !”

Turning into a tedious week already. A week’s worth of Luann (not) learning how to write as an author. Trading barbs with Bern instead.

Oh, for Pete’s sake Lu!

Look. Why don’t you write about:

A) That time that Creepy Elwood Druit took you out on a date and your parents didn’t lift one finger to STOP him.

B) When You and Tiff used to get into fist fights all the time on the Volley Ball court and you never won a single fight.

C) That time your two so-called “best friends” ( One of whom is in easy strangling distance) conned you into running to the corner mailbox at night wearing only a bikini and running shoes and Aaron Hill saw you.

D) That time Tiff’s former best friend Crystal, (Who’s currently in the witness protection program with Knute) shoved you into a pool and you darn near drowned. Only you were saved by Stuart the Lifeguard and you fell for him until you found out he was married.

Or better yet, forget all that.

Go over to Mooney U, enter Bets room and ask her “Is Gunther here? Do you know when he’ll be back? Oh, and when he arrives, could you leave the room? WE have something to discuss in Private!”

Then, you can write about the fight after you regain consciousness. ;-)

This is too easy.

After years of reading this strip it has occurred to me finally that this Luann person is the dumbest f**k that ever pulled on shoes.

Assuming there’s no age constraint on when the experience happened, the options are pretty numerous. First time you went to school, drove a car, gave a speech, wrote anything creative, cooked something on your own, learned to read, saw a movie in a theater, voted in an election, etc.

Bernice is wrong; every thing you do now had a first. BUT if you have trouble remembering those things, do something new… Drop some acid and write about that. :)

Her first kiss with Aaron.

I’m starting to think that Bernice and Luann are only friends because of closeness, proximity and convenience, rather than mutual love and respect.

So while Bets complained about not working anymore, Luann is complaining about homework? Great start to 2024.

Note: Complaining is the safe word from what I really wanted to say.

Looks like it’s time for Luann and Bernice to analyse their lives and yes, they really needs this. Of course, Bernice will be very happy to tell everything Luann didn’t do and be offended if her BFF will tells her what SHE didn’t do. This assignment will probably make their relationship more tense and depress Luann even more. I think that it’s actually a good topic, very useful to push an aspiring writer out of her comfort zone and make her reflect on what she wants from her life.

For a couple of besties, these exchanges haven’t been very friendly.

First time you embarrassed yourself in front of your whole class. First time you got rejected by a boy. First time you saw a boy you liked kiss another girl. First…

Bernice, can you ever say anything to Luann that ISN’T snarky??

Even Greg has realized that Luann is the total package of a complete lack of accomplishment. Time for this kid to grow up and do something.

A-HEM.

First time I flew to another country was for a chef job at a dive resort. They told me there were plenty of Americans on the island and everyone spoke English. Population 90. I figured I can do anything for a year, if I don’t like it I can leave then and this will look good on my resume. Stayed 7 years!

AAAAND Bernice is back! She slipped and was almost friendly for a minute. Amazing the way she maintains her consistent put-down act on Luann. What a pal. I would get really tired of a friend that was always doing that. Why do they always write her that way and why do they make Luann put up with it? It would be an earth shaking moment if Luann put her in her place once and for all (her correct place being the dorm at the university).

Maybe this strip should cut away from these dullards for a year or so and follow someone like Tara or Prudence. At least they do things. Luann is an even blander protagonist than Ted Mosby or Piper Chapman.

First time I went swimming. My Dad picked me up and threw me into the river. “Gotta learn sometime!”

my first time (and only time) i picked up a hitchhiker, it was Aileen Wuornos (around 1979)

But Gunther has! :D

The first time I did a 24 hour drive to my parent’s home by myself. There was a meteor shower for several hours that night and each one was a revelation about changes I was making in my life back at my home. On the side of a mountain there was a fire, so all you could see in the dark was a thin ribbon of gold and red drooping along like garland. I finally stopped for a short nap in a rest area (before that got sketchy to do) just before daylight. I last saw the sun in the cold and snow of home and woke up a little bit later to sunshine and warm. My car was a ’84 diesel Escort. I only had to stop twice for fuel. Best trip ever, I needed the visit and got so much more on the way.

First time you killed your best friend.

Bernice is multifaceted in many ways. She’s a troll, an ogre, a Karen and those are just a sample of her redeeming traits!

Geez Bernice… with friends like you, who needs an enema!

The first time I drove from Southern Maryland to Indianapolis by myself was the first time I took a road trip by myself to visit my parents.

The first time I….

Rode a bicycle

Ate all my veggies.

Slapped the stew out of my best friend.

Lost a love.

Lost interest in an assignment.

Come on, my beloved Luann,

you can do it!!

The first time I painted something onto a shirt it was Beatrix Potters Peter Rabbit onto a shirt for my infant son. I didn’t know I could until I tried and I was really pleased with the result.

The first time I rode a motor vehicle, last year, solo, I was terrified and invigorated. I had been traumatized while learning as a teenager and struggled with the thought of driving. I tried many times, even wrote the drivers test. When I learned that I didn’t need a license to ride an e bike I felt a sense of relief and hope that if I can do it I might be able to move on to drive a car.

Well looks like we all gave Luann a lot of ideas for her writing project! Can’t wait to see what she actually does.

When I was 7 or 8 years old I didn’t go to school because I was going to be late. My brothers told me I would get spanked for being late and I was scared of being spanked. I walked all morning and finally went back home. I had walked several miles. Needless to say my brothers got in trouble for telling me I would be punished at school for being late.

“19 year old”? She graduated high school in 2014. lol There have been at least 4 school breaks that I can remember off the top of my head.

Bernice ALMOST made the Beast with Two Backs on the DeGroot’s couch with Nil a few months back. Does that count?

Is anyone as tired of Bernice as I am?

So. Luann has been 19 for the past 8 plus years. How old is Brad?

COMING UP—-first time Luann tries to drown Bernice in the bathroom sink

If Bernice is insinuating what I would presume many here thinks she is insinuating, she knows because she heard you tell details of your dates to your Diary, Luann. And, on that same track, Bernice hasn’t either, but if you were to compare scorecards, it appears you might be slightly ahead.

The first time I got an assignment about the first time I…

“The First Time I Learned to Write”

My mom wanted to teach me to write before going to school. She showed me how she writes the letter a. She then placed the pencil in my right hand and expected me to start writing. The problem was… it just didn’t feel right to me.

As mom was telling me to start writing, I noticed my other hand, and I wondered for a moment… I placed the pencil in my other hand, and by the time I had written my third a, my mom had ran to the kitchen screaming, “SHE’S LEFT-HANDED!!!”

Not for nothing, but Bernice is eating those snack items straight out of the box, when any other person would pour them into a bowl first.

Lu ahould really quit hanging out with Bernice and find someone better. But it seems that Greg hates her so much that he won’t let her do that!

The first time I got to go to the grocery by myself: late 1940’s, I was around 6 years old, I had to cross two streets by myself, streets I had never been allowed to cross. I did it! And I made it back by myself, too. I bet my grandma was watching me but I never saw her.

It only took her 28 years to complete 4 years of high school. This college thing looks like a bit longer.

She has lived with you forever, so no she hasn’t.