Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for February 09, 2024

Timing is everything.

Where I live, EVERYBODY will stop and help the turtle (tortoius, I don’t know!) Seldom see a small animal.

So where’s the finish line?? Apparently about 2 feet from the start line. In a contest between a truck and a tortoise, (or hare) the truck will always win … (apologies to Pam Ayres)

I think we can assume Mr. Hare arranged the race course.

Not real sure who’s counting. Looks like Tortoise sees the truck, and is waiting for the right moment to send Hare out – right as the truck arrives. Then he can saunter across and win, while the buzzards clean up.

I have seen big dead snapping turtles with tire tracks through the middle. I think rabbits panic and dart out into the road as if suicidal. I hate the sound of them pummeling under the wheels of my car as I unavoidably run them over.

I killed a dead opossum the other day, when I ran over it. At least it looked dead, he could have been playing opossum.

Not if the guts were out.

Results: A Peterbilt-ed Cottontail

Three! Rabbit cutlets!

This image recalls a moment of my youth. Driving Dad’s car with my teenage buddies, we came upon a line of cars climbing a long hill, which of course we had to try and pass. With foot to the floor and eyes on the hilltop, the first thing we saw was smoke, then a large, black pipe, then the top of a truck just like this. Quick as a hare, we passed the last car with a moment to spare.

Time to find out just how smart the turtle is.

Profile of an election year.

Hmm, that might explain a couple unfortunate squirrels that I… or maybe they were just stupid, or suicidal.

Wonder if a bear is driving the truck…..

“He who hesitates is sometimes saved.” – James Thurber

hitting a rabbit is one thing but the sound a turtle makes ….

Can you say Truck-kun is coming for the rabbit to Isekai him.

But where’s the armadillo?

I do not brake for squirrels. I might cause an accident. Squirrels will dart out in front of you, and if you brake, will turn around and come back to give you a second chance.

I was told in pilot training that the canopy of the aircraft that I was flying was designed to withstand hitting a bird at 500 knots.

I jumped on that ambiguously-worded sentence to ask, “Which is going at 500 knots, the aircraft or the bird?”

The response was, “It doesn’t matter.”

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

And they both get smooshed. Those 18-wheelers can move much faster than you think.

A Road Runner is driving the truck.

They say the tortoise(Biden) always wins the race. Let’s hope the rules haven’t changed

youtube is full of rabbit v turtle races and the turtle always wins

Why is the chicken laughing?

No is not the time for the tortoise to try out his new, improved diamond shell

Desert area? The Road Runner will be by there in a moment to scoop up those in peril.

Bugs bunny should have thought of that in his rematch.

At the word “go!”, the tortoise trips the rabbit, who face-plants HARD on the asphalt and lies there dazed. The tortoise saunters into the middle of the lane, pulls in his extremities and hunkers down. The semi passes harmlessly over the tortoise. The right-side tires pass over the rabbit with predictable results. The tortoise waddles across the road and wins again, with a nod to the first vulture to arrive at the buffet.

The turtle will just wait for the truck to hit the rabbit, and then proceed across at a leisurely pace.

Around here it’s all Jack Rabbits. We saw a pair crossing the road ahead of us. First rabbit well across safely, second one…. Hubby says “Uh oh..” cause there’s no way to slow/swerve safely, then while we both watched open mouthed, the Jack physically kicked it into high gear! You could see him pump it up. I have no idea how he did it, but dang that was one fast rabbit. We were doing at least 60 and he streaked across after his mate. (Yes he made it!)

Around here (Madison, Wisconsin) we have flocks of wild turkeys. They tend to cross the roads in single file, and every motorist I’ve ever seen stops for them all to get across. One particular tom will stroll out first, turn his backside toward oncoming traffic, and perform the tailfeather display for which his kind is justly famous. It’s like a big hand saying “STOP”, and everybody does. Then the rest of the flock crosses, and after the last one has gone by he folds his fantail and follows them, generally to audible applause from the lines of cars that have formed.

Hahahaha. Oh Wiley, NO! LOL.

You’d be surprised how fast a motivated tortoise can run.

Who picked this venue?

No worries…the hare will be long gone and the turtle won’t even make it to the truck’s path.

strange, how the story is “hare and tortoise” in the US and it’s “Hase und Igel” (Hare and Hedgehog) in German.