Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for March 23, 2024

Panel 4 is hilarious! laughing

If you can’t dazzle ’em with brilliance …

Oddly enough, every one of my teachers who talked about “early retirement” ended up teaching my younger brother.

If I were Danae’s teacher, I’d be considering drinking early.

Some reports are supposed to have an essence of truth.

My class broke in new teachers in 2nd, 3rd, 5th and 6th grades.

Danae has a good point. I wouldn’t like to be her teacher though.

the teacher missed the point. the assignment was all about creative writing

The teacher longing for retirement is similar to Ms Wormwood in Calvin and Hobbes; for example – 3/1/93…

If I were the teacher, I’d probably tell Danae that I would file this for her next fiction assignment and expect a verifiable true-life rewrite on Monday (verified by a call to her dad). Of course, I could just fail her for not doing the assignment properly, but that wouldn’t really teach her anything other than to hate learning, and say what you will about Danae, she’s smart. If her creative talent can be positively directed, that’s a good thing.

That teacher is terrible. Danae wrote a great paper.

The Ministry of Truth over there on the left does a lot of imagineering but is is not as amusing and a lot more malicious. Hey, bro, mushrooms gotta eat and they put out the mushroom chow by the gallon. Non nom nom

When my friends and I didn’t know the answer to a question on a Historal test, we would make up something fanciful and amusing. It was still marked incorrect — but over the years our teacher accumulated quite a collection of schoolboy humor.

One friend wrote an entire term paper with footnotes attributing fictitious authorities, using the slightly disguised names of other students. Well, he said, at least the teacher can’t accuse me of plagiarism. [The teacher was a good enough sport to merely make him rewrite the paper.]

In the army, pass-fail was “Go-No Go” as in “you are a No Go at this station”

She blinded her with science …fiction!

No one is honest in their memoirs.

Danae, you’re wearing your teacher out.

End of arc . . . I think. If so, thank goodness.

Lots of students have created extra work and a low grade for themselves when responding to a list of directions to follow that begins with #1 Read the entire list before you respond" and ends with #10 Skip numbers 2 through 9, put your name on the paper and turn it in.

Science fantasy, not (hard) science fiction.

Retiring early? She looks quite a bit over retirement age to me

Danae’s hair doesn’t really qualifiy as “Bangs”, can we call it a “Bang”?

Danae just broke another Teacher

Years ago I applied for a job with Disney’s “Imagineers.” (I didn’t get the job.) I don’t know if they still use the name, but you’ve got to be careful using a word they invented.

Best case scenario, Danae becomes a storyboard writer for Disney.

My mother, a 3rd grade teacher, who taught for 39 years, retired early. Though her getting lymphoma probably had more to do the retirement than the kids. Of course, she didn’t have Danae in her class, either.

Who will retire first, Calvin’s teacher or Danae’s teacher?

“Imagineered Memoir” sounds like a phrase Bucky over on Get Fuzzy would use. He is the master of imagineered vocabulary.

No, it’s not science fiction — it’s fantasy. There is a difference. Look it up.

I f she doesn’t stop the teacher will end up in a loony bin!

Did you use the words, I’m too old for this?

A good teacher would treasure a student like Danae (who comes along maybe 2-3 times in a career), water that flower, watch it grow and blossom, and tell the teacher in the next grade up the line what a treat they’ve got coming!

“Retire early”? She looks like she’s well past her ‘use by’ date.

Danae, dear, just add something like “and then I woke up” to the end. Your most memorable day was the day you had this particular fantasy (as you yourself say, way more memorable than anything that actually happened), so it clearly fits the terms of the assignment.

Danae watches too many of the wrong TV shows.

I can see Dane’s teacher and Miss Wormwood from Calvin and Hobbes in a retirement home together somewhere swapping war stories.

An “Imagineered Memoir” – is that the same as “Alternative Facts”??

If Danae and Calvin ever met, would that be like dividing by zero?

Lucy’s memoir about being owned by a weird little girl got an “A”

I kind of blame the teacher, though. One thing is to ask a child their favorite color or sports (blue, ping pong, in my case). Another thing is to give them an almost impossible description. Even a child might recollect several most memorable days in their life. This is postmodernist trash, as usual.