Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for June 19, 2024

I guess that explains why Tom Batiuk still hosts booths to sign his books.

Where’s Crankshaft?

Rich, eh, Mason Jaw? The studio’s accountants beg to differ, and you’ll beg to be paid!

Cut to San Diego Comic Con 2054, as a saggy and forlorn Masonne Jarre sits at a visitor-free autograph table, the sci-fi equivalent of late, great “WWE Superstar” Virgil.

Also, hahaha, it’s funny because Masonne has nothing but disdain for the fans making him “rich.”

People lined up for miles for this blessed event!

Least Moore, Hairy Dinkle, and Mayonnaise Jar: Why is Batty so in love with smug, self-obsessed egotistic characters his readers hate? Oh, PLEASE speak out out about how this blond toad with his mute waifu pillow is your new hero! He’s clever lol!

I thought they actually set out to make us all sick? Because that’s been achieved…

Real smart to insult your fan base on your movie’s opening night there, Mason.

Tell me you hate your job without saying you hate your job.

A few half-hearted BRICKS today. Better than cobwebs I guess.

Now see what we’ve done! We’ve persuaded Batiuk that his “Starbuck Jones” franchise is such a pathetic joke that he’s joined the ranks of the snarkers!

Doesn’t care about the fans, huh?

Batiuk always thought he would write a bestseller that would be made into a hit movie. Having failed in that endeavor, he subjects readers to his tiny fantasies.Where’s Crankshaft?

Is Cindy a 70 yr old wife or a Cherry 2000?

I wish someone would cold-cock this guy.

YEAH!!! Where’s Crank?

Ask a stupid question…

Studio Presidents do not appreciate this kind of honesty

Peter Sellers had rotten taste in picking projects the weren’t PINK PANTHER movies. He came to hate the character, but he’d have t o go back to it to pay off his debts and his alimony

An actor who is honest about why he made another sequel. Interesting.

And the truth comes out.

what no mason jar action figures ?

Masone. I hope this movie makes you so rich you can buy a jet plane and a frickin’ island. Anything so I won’t have to read about you or Starsux Blows ever again.

Tom Batiuk, the readers continue to call out, “WHERE’S CRANKSHAFT?!!”

Ugh. I wish Batty realized how cringe these self-indulgent story arcs are to read.

Tom Batiuk’s reflection in the mirror posing as an ET Reporter: Tom, you’ve always had a great imagination and been a great storyteller. One of the best the comics page has ever seen. You should have won a lot more awards.

Tom Batiuk (as himself): (proud) I know.

WHERE’S CRANKSHAFT?!!

What a selfish dude……..where is Crankshaft?

And for the third straight God-forsaken time, we’re reminded that this is about “STARBUCK JONES III: RISE OF THE BANDELORIANS”. Tune in tomorrow, when we’ll once again be told that the name of the movie is “STARBUCK JONES III: RISE OF THE BANDELORIANS”!

STUPID!

So glad to see that this small town has glitz and glam to appear like those Hollywood Premieres. Of course, Mason makes it look like it’s a major city with his theater in the background (which he and his wife bought)

Today’s strip really isn’t doing much to convince me that Mason DIDN’T buy the Valentine as either a tax write-off and/or money laundering operation.

Is Mason’s arm candy Cindy?

I can’t tell for sure.

Y’know, William Shatner did this gag a lot better on Saturday Night Live way back in 1986.

Nothing like a little truth serum in the punch, is there?

BTW, John Bruner did this brilliantly in his 1969 Hugo Award winner Stand on Zanzibar (NOTE: no talking murder chimps were harmed in the writing of this book). Just before a speech by an important bishop, somebody smeared a contact drug called “truth or consequences” on the podium, causing the preacher to blurt out how he really felt about organized religion and his church. Hilarious!

Regarding Mason’s reply: That’s rich!