Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for June 24, 2024

Would it help if we gave you a standing ululation?

Try ulu-early.

Could it be an ulcerated uvula?

It certainly does hurt. Next time warn us so we can put in our earplugs.

Better ululate than never. However, when I taught myself Tuvan throat singing I lost my voice for a week, so caution is advised.

Just don’t yodel then.

better tell your mom

This is exactly the kind of low-brow, dirty-minded humor that caused the Chaldeans to fall out of God’s favor.

LeVar Burton can do it nicely. I, on the other hand, can only yodel a bit.

…sometimes I just want to shout: …

… HEY HEY HEY HEY! …

… no pain…

…no gain…

…it’s a bird…

…it’s a plane…

…it’s the Green Horny…

…today’s safe word is…

…Ouch! Dam that hurts…

…gargle with Listerine twice a day…

…but don’t put the bananas in the fridge…

…Tarzan something something something…

…my wife recorded me cussing after I accidentally hit my thumb with a hammer…

…she put it to thrash music…

…now we have the #1 hit in Froglandia…

…the Frog Applause Hop…

I must have a deformed tongue, because no matter how much I tried, I was never able to ululate the letter “r” when learning a foreign language.

Then don’t do that.

Second opinion?

That mask makes your eyebrows look fat.

“Paging Archie Campbell, paging Archie Campbell.”

Uluating in the bat cave can get you in trouble.

Maybe see to having your uvula massaged?

I have a one-word cure for your ululation-related sore throat … Tonsillectomy !!

You may uluate with a ukelele. You MAY not with BAGPIPES!!

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ululating …!

( low hanging fruit too, to, two, tutu )

Today’s Senryū du Jour:

Misheard, Doc told me,

“Ungual stones – drink more waters

from Uluiul River."

- Lulu’s Zulu “Zoo-Doo” Boo-Boo with Bono’s Cuckoo Bonobo’s Froufrou Banana - Hoodoo & Voodoo BooHoo Booze Queue Ado! by Hugh “Gnu-Gnu” Kachoo © 2024 Adieu Kudzu Press & MuMu CanoeCo., a division of WooHoo! KooKooKaChoob! House and Achoo! KatChew Corp., in coordination with Cue 2 Rue New Pew Sioux Stew Roux, LLC — a leisure service of Tippecanoe & Tyler Two, SoSueMe Lewd TrueView Electronics, and Yoo-Hoo Chocolate Beverage Int’l

That masked, sensitive-throated man looks suspiciously like George Corley Wallace, whose segregationist (read ‘racist’) views won him four terms as Alabama’s governor between 1963 and 1987. In my opinion, one of Jimmy Carter’s greatest achievements was to render the man irrelevant in the national political arena.

Repetition, and time travel, will do that to you.

to you.

to you.

to you.

Today’s [ utterly useless backup ] Senryū du Jour:

Zuul the Gatekeeper

is pleased by your painfully

raggedy attempt.

— Gozer the Gozerian, Class 7 Deity of Destruction

Serves you right for trying to Cthulhu-ululate.

Well, panel, you struck out — it’s time to flip all the cards and meet our mystery guest today on What’s My Fine…

Moments in Forgotten TV History presents:

The original 1964 pilot of The Masked Singer:

“Hey, everybody! It’s popular master of ceremonies Stubby Kaye, from the Shenanigans game show!”

“Remember, whatever happens — today’s ‘safe words’ are DUCK PUMP.”

Leo failed to win a door prize for his get-up as The Count of Monty’s Crisco™.

“Normally, I would be here to rob you — but, as I am not wearing my striped outfit at the moment, you are free to go.”

He’ll never do his Slim Whitman tribute album.

Ha! That’s okay it’s supposed to.

Notes from the Internet Machine on zaghrata, also known as ululation:

Sources have differed on the historical origin of the zaghareet, but most seem to refer it back to the “Jahiliyya” (The Age of Ignorance) period. While some believe that women used ulutations to stimulate excitement and enthusiasm on battlefields, while other sources believe that they were used to seek mercy and help from the gods.

Conclusion:

There is no historical evidence whatsoever to support modern-day claims that zaghareet are interchangeably used with (or in place of lost) remote controls.

— Anthrolpological Archaeology & Archaeological Anthropology Journal-Digest-Magazine, Vol. LILILILILILILI

Who is that masked man? Hi- Ho! Frida Away!

Of course it does. IT’S SUPPOSED TO. If it doesn’t, you’re doing it wrong.