Herman by Jim Unger for July 13, 2024

Now that you aren’t allowed to use your cell phone camera while driving a car, it might be a good deal.

Anyone ever watch “One Foot in the Grave”? The intro was 2 tortoises get it on. It was hilarious until the last 2 episodes which were gruesome

That’s a good deal!

You have to sign a waiver in case of injury from a stampede.

The races are even more exciting.

This is bull-riding for those who are stability-challenged.

Hold onto your hat! Lean into the turns!

A baby-sitting ride.

14 hours? Must be a short course.

And your hat is guaranteed to not fly off.

It’s not the money making endeavor you were hoping for.

Great idea for cheap baby sitting while Dad tours the other exhibits.

Do we get a 15 minute bathroom break every two hours?

He makes his money from seat belt rental.

He can come back tomorrow and pick up the kids; they’ll be two feet from the starting gate

The San Diego Zoo let us ride the Galapagos tortoises back when we were kids.

A few years ago I took my wife to the Galapagos Islands. No tortoises rides, but we saw lots of them up close and personal in their natural habitate. Fascinating creatures!

“Hey, youse guys! Here comes the toitle!”

- Tortoise Beats Hare. A Bugs Bunny cartoon.

This should be a thrilling experience.

How about we just pose for a picture kids!

Fourteen hours is how long it takes the tortoise to get where it’s going.

Take your time.

small print: $150 for early exit