Unfortunately, the fire engine is on its way to put out one of Ed’s BBQ conflagrations, and it’s on the opposite side of the house from Lillian’s garage/bookstore.
Them hater arsonists is really hates the first few steps. They is hates that the first few steps is always difficult. All that troubles they is tooks just to burns a few steps.
Talk about dragging out a story…we saw panel one yesterday, and panel two is a fire truck, and since this is obviously arson, shouldn’t the police be coming too? This is a lousy arsonist, who only set the stairs on fire.
In tomorrow’s comic, Batty mentions one of our regular esteemed commenters by name when the firemen arrive, step out of the firetruck and ask, “Where’s Crankshaft?”.
Given how most of the fire seems to be on the grass and not the building, I’m gonna say this isn’t arson at all, but a “prairie landscaping” project gone very, very wrong. It’s what Lilliopsaurus gets for hiring Ed to manage a “controlled burn.”
This was the work of a considerate arsonist. They didn’t want to kill anyone so they decided just to take out the bottom stairs. Can’t get to the bookstore without stairs!
cue the dark ambient music with discordant overtones which, although broadly tonal, is inflected with chromatic and polytonal passages representing the archetypal example of a florid, melodramatic style without being interpreted as an overly heavy-handed metaphor within the context of the thematic material a bit on the frenetic and frantic side with interesting rhythmic devices which seem to counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor utilizing a novel imaging technique known as positron emission tomography and the spontaneous nondenominational conceptions by expansively recontextualizing liminal narratives of colonic hydrotherapy with a twinge of giddiness and bilateral gynandromorph
And in the real-world Ohio, we are now up to 33 bomb threats called in to schools and city agencies. These domestic terrorists are being instigated by a completely fictitious racist claim promoted by the junior senator from Ohio (who’s also running for vice president) and his con-man boss. Even though refuted by the city officials and the state’s Governor, these losers continue to spread lies that result in violent threats to LEGAL immigrants and are a drain on the resources that serve all citizens.
If Batty is going for “outrageous,” he’s gonna need to try harder.
If Batiuk ever reveals who set the fires, we’ll find out: 1) One of Les’s students snitched to their family, and a psycho sibling did it or 2) Timemop, the Rather Elegant Solution, did it to make it agree with history.
Bill Thompson 3 days ago
It’s a tragedy in the making: the firefighters will arrive in time to save that sign.
Argythree 3 days ago
Yes, but will they save Cranky?
J.J. O'Malley 3 days ago
Unfortunately, the fire engine is on its way to put out one of Ed’s BBQ conflagrations, and it’s on the opposite side of the house from Lillian’s garage/bookstore.
James Noury Premium Member 3 days ago
EEK!
j_m_kuehl 3 days ago
for once living next to Crankshaft pas off. Rapid Response
Gent 3 days ago
Them hater arsonists is really hates the first few steps. They is hates that the first few steps is always difficult. All that troubles they is tooks just to burns a few steps.
Gent 2 days ago
Obveeously the mysterious arson culprit here is Kung Fu Panda. Everyone is knows how he hate stairs because they is his old enemy.
Lord Flatulence Premium Member 2 days ago
The emergency Pulitzer crew is on the way.
Calvin for President ! 2 days ago
Ah, watch out You might get what you’re after Cool babies Strange but not a stranger I’m an ordinary guy Burning down the house !
Kitty Queen 2 days ago
Ignorant people always want to stop those who are willing to learn
Surly Squirrel Premium Member 2 days ago
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Oh, no! Wally Winkerbean, Adeela, and Buddy the Dog.
DON’T PANIC!!!
workjobb Premium Member 2 days ago
Talk about dragging out a story…we saw panel one yesterday, and panel two is a fire truck, and since this is obviously arson, shouldn’t the police be coming too? This is a lousy arsonist, who only set the stairs on fire.
Fetzee 2 days ago
Couldn’t have Les just sent out Ebooks instead? Les not the brightest
Foob 2 days ago
In tomorrow’s comic, Batty mentions one of our regular esteemed commenters by name when the firemen arrive, step out of the firetruck and ask, “Where’s Crankshaft?”.
fuzzbucket Premium Member 2 days ago
Install security cameras with motion detectors.
French Persons Premium Member 2 days ago
With gasoline splashed around like that, the fire would be much, much bigger by the time the fire department got there.
SearchBoy Premium Member 2 days ago
Don’t worry, she fireproofed the shop as protection from Crankshaft’s grill.
ComicRelief 2 days ago
Good. She needs to update to ADA-compliant access to the bookstore anyway.
ComicRelief 2 days ago
I think the twins did it. One twin is always evil.
SquidGamerGal 2 days ago
GAH!! Are they really willing to commit murder just because they don’t like a couple of lousy books?!
rockyridge1977 2 days ago
I think Crank is driving this time…………volunteer!!!!
puddleglum1066 2 days ago
Given how most of the fire seems to be on the grass and not the building, I’m gonna say this isn’t arson at all, but a “prairie landscaping” project gone very, very wrong. It’s what Lilliopsaurus gets for hiring Ed to manage a “controlled burn.”
Mopman 2 days ago
This was the work of a considerate arsonist. They didn’t want to kill anyone so they decided just to take out the bottom stairs. Can’t get to the bookstore without stairs!
Irish53 2 days ago
Beavis: “… yeah, yeah…. FIRE, FIRE…”
lemonbaskt 2 days ago
can you bring one of those firehouse subs with you too and dont try to fool me with subway hold the hot peppers
tcayer 2 days ago
The irony is, not one of his students was planning on reading that book anyway.
CsRoberto2854 2 days ago
I am the light that warms up your body
And sets free the demons inside
I am the one that never ignores you
That never will LET YOU DOWN!
THEY’LL SUSPECT!
BUT THEY’LL NEVER PROVE
THAT I WAS THERE!
IN MY FATE
I FEEL THE WRATH
OF ADRENALINE!
IT’S TOO HARD (I am the light)
TO RUN AWAY WHEN I WATCH YOU STAY! (that warms up your body, that sets free the demons inside)
TO WATCH IT BURN! WATCH IT CHURN! (I am the one, that never ignores you)
INTO DUST! (That never will let you down)
(bridge and ending of I Am The Arsonist by Silverstein)
J.J. O'Malley 2 days ago
“I am the god of bookstore fires, and I bring you…”
MuddyUSA Premium Member 2 days ago
Cranky does not barbecue at night…….sheeesh!
oakie817 2 days ago
cue the dark ambient music with discordant overtones which, although broadly tonal, is inflected with chromatic and polytonal passages representing the archetypal example of a florid, melodramatic style without being interpreted as an overly heavy-handed metaphor within the context of the thematic material a bit on the frenetic and frantic side with interesting rhythmic devices which seem to counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor utilizing a novel imaging technique known as positron emission tomography and the spontaneous nondenominational conceptions by expansively recontextualizing liminal narratives of colonic hydrotherapy with a twinge of giddiness and bilateral gynandromorph
DawnQuinn1 2 days ago
We ALL know who is starting the bookstore fires. Those who do not want you knowing the truth.
zendog13la 2 days ago
And in the real-world Ohio, we are now up to 33 bomb threats called in to schools and city agencies. These domestic terrorists are being instigated by a completely fictitious racist claim promoted by the junior senator from Ohio (who’s also running for vice president) and his con-man boss. Even though refuted by the city officials and the state’s Governor, these losers continue to spread lies that result in violent threats to LEGAL immigrants and are a drain on the resources that serve all citizens.
If Batty is going for “outrageous,” he’s gonna need to try harder.
JonnyT 2 days ago
Batiuk must have really missed killing off his characters in gruesome deaths over in Funky land.
dputhoff62 2 days ago
If Batiuk ever reveals who set the fires, we’ll find out: 1) One of Les’s students snitched to their family, and a psycho sibling did it or 2) Timemop, the Rather Elegant Solution, did it to make it agree with history.
Strawberry King 2 days ago
That should wake the neighbors up.
puddleglum1066 2 days ago
The only way the lawn’s gonna burn like we see in panel one is if Lizard Lil had the grass replaced with Astroturf™.
Wait… didn’t Ed do that a few years back?