Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for September 23, 2024

Just what is they doing dusting away them sheets at midnight?

“Those guys fooled me into thinking I had a hot date with Maxine Klinger!”

Need a fan to egress the smoke.

Ah! Another trip down memory lane. One of his tales of athletic glory from high school. What might have been if only!

Nice to see you, Cranky! Does this mean you’ll be here all week? We can only hope…

Yeah, I figured Ed’s silence last week was just him going into his (pitching) windup. At least Ed gets his turn to speak this week instead of Lillian.

No spoilers from me. Enjoy a tale from a time when Crankshaft was good.

Lillian sorry she asked

And cue the flashback.

What has Crankshaft’s not knowing how to read have to do with the story at hand?

“Strangely quiet? Me? You mean the guy who’s name is on the top of the strip? Whatever do you mean?”

Aha! This is a side of Ed Crankshaft that is new to me (and possibly others, too).

…..and the understanding of the words!!!

And also because Ed was an idiot who thought that no one on the pitching staff other than the starter was supposed to attend the game. Tell it like it was, Batty!

Have you learned since, Ed?

Something I didn’t know about Ed’s backstory. He was supposedly in the Tigers system, way back when?

Well, half a Crankshaft strip is still better than a month of Les Moore dispensing his pious wisdom.

Lillian is the queen of dirty pranks.

It took Ed almost a week of standing around dumbfounded, but finally he remembered how to talk.

Tom or Dan, please explain where any library or bookstore has been torched. I’ve looked, but all I found was a fire in Little Rock a couple weeks ago, with no motive given, no mention of disputes, and no arrests made. I know there are disputes about which books should be carried, but methinks you’ve gone a bit far when arson is part of your story.

Are you sure it’s not just because Ed’s barbecue was put too close to the stairs?

Ah, so we’re pivoting from domestic terrorism to adult literacy. Good ol’ Batty.

A flashback? I’ll take it. Anything to delay Batyuk’s hamfisted pontification via his author-avatar mouthpiece Lillian.

Lillian will demonstrate her bravery and intelligence by stating the blatantly obvious. I guarantee it.

The artwork should improve this week. All Dan Davis has to do this week is copy and paste from the archives when Ed last told this story.

Is Ed illiterate? I used to volunteer with a program that taught illiterate people to read, starting with the most basic concepts. Some were quite intelligent people. They had to be to hide that they couldn’t read, often from their employers.

Interesting parallel. He was tricked into doing something stupid because someone else told him what it said, instead of reading it himself.

He speaks! What a great guest appearance by Crankshaft!

“It all started on a Tuesday – "

“Uh huh. Gosh, look at the time! Thanks for your help Ed, watch your step on the stairs, the last two are burned up!”

Flashback time!

Where’s Crankshaft? He’s right there!