A man meets a beautiful, really sexy girl. He really wants her. So he invites her to a movie, and she tells him:
“Listen, if it’s sex you’re after, then there is no need to get me dinners, movie evenings and all that. Just buy me a good Swiss Army knife.”
The guy thinks. It’s true, he’s not interested in something long-term, so he buys her a good genuine Victorinox.
They come to her home, she opens a big chest standing in a closet, and puts his knife there. The guy sees that the chest is half-filled with such knives already. Then she takes him to her bedroom for a wonderful night together.
The next morning, they’re sitting at her kitchen, drinking tea, and he asks her:
“Can I ask you a question? What would you need so many knives for?”
“You see”, she explains. “I’m young now. I’m beautiful. I have no trouble finding guys; in fact, they’re the ones chasing me. But I know it doesn’t last forever. One day, I’ll be older, gray-haired, I’ll be the one looking everywhere for love, and then… do you have any idea what a boy of eighteen would be willing to do for a good Swiss Army knife?”
Just out of curiosity.. is there ANY stupid pastime that was not considered for the Olympics? Tiddly Winks? Lawn Mowing? Crocheting? Some of the “sports” they try are totally loony.
I’ve had mine for 35+ years, the blade gets the most use of all the tools, the scissors 2nd, the screwdriver 3rd, and the tweezers tied 4th with the can opener!
Knives to be sold in the UK and Germany since people can’t be trusted with knives (outside the kitchen) now that they’ve been otherwise disarmed. Next up? A board with a nail.
wooleys2001 26 days ago
Kinda like dueling with paint balls.
The Duke 26 days ago
Since the new knives won’t have a blade will it still be called a knife?
Grumpy Old Guy 25 days ago
Bring pistol dueling back to the Olympics with paint balls. More entertaining than Break Dancing….
Cool Hand Luke Premium Member 25 days ago
The knife is the most important tool to have on you so I am not a fan.
Zykoic 25 days ago
Olympic paintball would be cool.
Pickled Pete 25 days ago
The Swiss army knife saga
A man meets a beautiful, really sexy girl. He really wants her. So he invites her to a movie, and she tells him:
“Listen, if it’s sex you’re after, then there is no need to get me dinners, movie evenings and all that. Just buy me a good Swiss Army knife.”The guy thinks. It’s true, he’s not interested in something long-term, so he buys her a good genuine Victorinox.
They come to her home, she opens a big chest standing in a closet, and puts his knife there. The guy sees that the chest is half-filled with such knives already. Then she takes him to her bedroom for a wonderful night together.
The next morning, they’re sitting at her kitchen, drinking tea, and he asks her:
“Can I ask you a question? What would you need so many knives for?”
“You see”, she explains. “I’m young now. I’m beautiful. I have no trouble finding guys; in fact, they’re the ones chasing me. But I know it doesn’t last forever. One day, I’ll be older, gray-haired, I’ll be the one looking everywhere for love, and then… do you have any idea what a boy of eighteen would be willing to do for a good Swiss Army knife?”
p1eacemaker 25 days ago
I wonder if the. Wax bullets hurt as much as a paintball pellet.
stuart_olson 25 days ago
A kneef.
Huckleberry Hiroshima 25 days ago
Proud to not know who or what “deadpool” is or was.
cmerb 25 days ago
I saw a Steve Mc Queen Movie some time ago and he shot a very large man with a " bean " bag shotgun and it knocked him down with no problem ?
steveconkey2003 25 days ago
Nothing is more useless than a multi tool without a blade.
DawnQuinn1 25 days ago
Just out of curiosity.. is there ANY stupid pastime that was not considered for the Olympics? Tiddly Winks? Lawn Mowing? Crocheting? Some of the “sports” they try are totally loony.
jmcenanly 25 days ago
I assume that the gentleman from.Turkey would have medal led in this event
Space_cat 25 days ago
I’ve had mine for 35+ years, the blade gets the most use of all the tools, the scissors 2nd, the screwdriver 3rd, and the tweezers tied 4th with the can opener!
ladykat 25 days ago
What good is a Swiss army knife without a blade?
Leonmgd Premium Member 25 days ago
I came here to find out what deadpool is, so far only Huckleberry Hiroshima mentioned it.
mindjob 25 days ago
Now if I had an Xbox controller, there are other butt shapes I’d like to have
moondog42 Premium Member 25 days ago
Even without a blade, you still can’t bring one onto an airplane with you
walter Premium Member 25 days ago
Knives to be sold in the UK and Germany since people can’t be trusted with knives (outside the kitchen) now that they’ve been otherwise disarmed. Next up? A board with a nail.
poppacapsmokeblower 25 days ago
The MS X-Box controller, does it have a joy stick in front, or a game slot?
oakie817 25 days ago
hey! i posted that earlier in the week in here, about the pistol dueling; and the blade was often the most useful tool on the knife
barrettcc 25 days ago
That’s not a knife!
LoneEagle7 25 days ago
Hmm…VictorinoX, XboX, waX bullets. You think maybe today’s topic is “X”-rated?
sfrench 25 days ago
Microsoft only made one of those controllers for a contest. My sister’s fiance was quite bummed he couldn’t buy one. lol
Dave's Not Here, Man 22 days ago
No blade? What good are they?