Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 21, 2024

In other words, he’s good for nothing.

I’m a Jack of all trades except for whatever trade I need for this job.

There’s not many jobs for a professional balloon traveler.

“I am a blank slate just waiting to be written on.”

“I have not yet realized my full potential!”

I have no preconcived ideas about how it should be done, so you can show me how you do it in this company.

You is needs to lists your plus points pig. You is makes great ham bacon and pork chops. MMMMM…

Notheeng is impossible. It is means me can achieves the impossible.

“I’m positive I’m adept at being unskilled”

There is no doubt about the amount of my adeptness.

Pigs not even adept at adapting his answer!

Pig your Job Skill … A Pawn for Stephan Pastis ;-)

“Plus I get dirty when I write.”

Pig must have a quite a complex if he’s writing that down.

Everybody starts out unskilled.

Adept at being the king of wishful thinking

I always had trouble applying for a job because I was a generalist. I didn’t have incredibly deep knowledge of anything, but some knowledge of a lot of things. Resume filters don’t like that.

And, once a person reaches a certain age, he, or she is automatically considered to be "UNemployable’, no matter how well versed one was in the company’s direction and policy, up until the day YOU reach that magical number..

he’s good. that’s not nothing.

But he has great potential! [ugh, now I need to go back to therapy… ;) ]

If he is applying for the Director of the DEI (fka AA) HR Department he’ll be hired on the spot.

Providing bacon is something very important…

What he lacks in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity

So a management position would be a good fit

Underwhelming honesty.

This reminds me of a quote in “The Big Bang Theory”:

Raj Koothrappali: Honestly, Ruchi, I don’t have a lot of experience with casual relationships. I have some experience with serious relationships and a ton of experience with no relationships…

Management material.

Positive spin achieved.

At least he’s honest.

Pigs don’t need jobs.

Use action verbs on your resume.

He doesn’t really want a job!!!

He needs Charlotte’s help

Pig is kind, honest, generous and youthful. Not quite ready for the mean, deceitful, greedy old world.

Pig you’ve been in this strip since 2002. You’re an entertainer !

…and I’m somewhat “adept” at correcting grammar – it SHOULD BE, “at what are you adept?”

Like our illegal aliens who have increased the IQ of their and our country.

He is adept at comedy relief, and we love you, Pig.

that won’t help…

Pigs make a good ham sandwich.

Haven’t you learned anything these past 8+ years? Just claim you are the best ever and say it over and over and over again. Double down and triple down. Some 30% will believe you.

As a product tester he can proof how foolproof anything is.

Become a Climate Activist…

Pig must have attended The Charlie Brown School of Penmanship, the way he keeps smearing ink on his face…!

pefect!

Positively nothing, then.