When I first got Windows 98, there was a plastic package with a floppy disk and a message written on it that said that by opening the package, you agreed to the terms of the license. Guess where the license was.
Years ago I bought one of those "As seen on tv’ things. It cuts through all of those horrible hard plastic. It’s so great, I got three more and gave two to friends and one to my sister. Mine is called OPEN IT.
codycab 29 days ago
“Story”? More like “business as usual”.
lfperales 29 days ago
Some other time he was wearing the pants he was returning to a friend
MReese 29 days ago
I’m glad I only caught the last three frames of this one.
hamandcheese 29 days ago
wow jon tell us more! (but in a quiet voice so u dont wake us)
David Huie Green LoveJoyAndPeace 29 days ago
You smooth talker, you.
Sanspareil 29 days ago
Hey Liz, tell him he had a previous gift of scissors that weren’t in a package!
BigDaveGlass 29 days ago
Looks like Liz has been hypnotized. Explains allot.
Purple People Eater 29 days ago
When I first got Windows 98, there was a plastic package with a floppy disk and a message written on it that said that by opening the package, you agreed to the terms of the license. Guess where the license was.
markkahler52 29 days ago
Well, no; you see, actually, she’s gone CATatonic….
Gent 29 days ago
Some story Jon.
2AndFour 29 days ago
So, Jon doesn’t have something as basic as some scissors at home? I feel sorry for Liz.
A# 466 29 days ago
“Because I ain’t got no stinger!” (cackle, cackle)#
(#) cf: “To Have, and to Have Not”Goat from PBS 29 days ago
Don’t you hate it when that happens? You need the thing to open… the same thing.
Slowly, he turned... 29 days ago
“Hey, I ordered some freeze dried water once” …thanks to Steven Wright
Jeffin Premium Member 29 days ago
That was a knife story but I didn’t get the point.
CaveCat87 29 days ago
Jon, the master of telling long, boring stories.
Mario500 29 days ago
(senses a story without a beginning in this cartoon)
Clarence 29 days ago
I guess Jon didn’t have scissors before
ᴮᴼᴿᴱᴰ2ᴰᴱᴬᵀᴴ 29 days ago
is that a cardboard cutout of Liz?
hariseldon59 29 days ago
That’s how you bore someone.
Count Olaf Premium Member 29 days ago
And that’s how the Cackling Commie tells a story. God Bless America
guenette.charlie(BozoKnows) 29 days ago
Yes, if the idea of telling the story is to bore your audience to death.
edmund_graham 29 days ago
I think Liz might be regretting her life choice right now
rbrt6956 29 days ago
The funny part of this is that he is actually correct .
ladykat 29 days ago
I’ve had packages like that.
Queen of America 29 days ago
Years ago I bought one of those "As seen on tv’ things. It cuts through all of those horrible hard plastic. It’s so great, I got three more and gave two to friends and one to my sister. Mine is called OPEN IT.
replay1111 29 days ago
Anyone else think this is actually a good twist??
RussellCastine 29 days ago
The perfect cure for the most severe insomniac patients: Jon’s stories.
lnrokr55 29 days ago
Shoulda quit while you’re ahead Jon!!! ;-)
w16521 29 days ago
Liz looks hypnotized
JenF 29 days ago
I can so relate to Jon and his ramblings… unfortunately I’m the one rambling all the time.
mail2jbl 29 days ago
I wonder if Liz has regretted wasting the last 18 years of her life dating this dweeb. Why don’t they get married already?
CarmineX 29 days ago
Ellen Degeneres does this same joke in one of her old standup specials…
Smeagol 29 days ago
He probably bought a special tool to open blister packs and the tool CAME IN A BLISTER PACK.
anncorr339 29 days ago
Jon you could have used a knife to open the package..
anncorr339 29 days ago
Jon you could have used a knife to open the package.
brick10 29 days ago
She is in a boredom induced trance.
BlitzMcD 29 days ago
And yet Liz sticks with him…..
Strawberry King 29 days ago
Oh, no! He bored her so much, she’s in a coma!
sincavage05 29 days ago
Arbuckle you’re several bales of hay lost on your load. Please return to checkout and try again.
olds_cool63 28 days ago
zzzzzzzz….zzzzzzzzzzzzz….zzzzzzzzzzz….zzzzzzzzzzzz…
hagarthehorrible 28 days ago
Liz, one more reason to dump Jon.
minky momo 7 days ago
I like the shirt Liz is wearing :D