When I first got Windows 98, there was a plastic package with a floppy disk and a message written on it that said that by opening the package, you agreed to the terms of the license. Guess where the license was.
Years ago I bought one of those "As seen on tv’ things. It cuts through all of those horrible hard plastic. It’s so great, I got three more and gave two to friends and one to my sister. Mine is called OPEN IT.
codycab about 2 months ago
“Story”? More like “business as usual”.
lfperales about 2 months ago
Some other time he was wearing the pants he was returning to a friend
MReese about 2 months ago
I’m glad I only caught the last three frames of this one.
hamandcheese about 2 months ago
wow jon tell us more! (but in a quiet voice so u dont wake us)
David Huie Green LoveJoyAndPeace about 2 months ago
You smooth talker, you.
Sanspareil about 2 months ago
Hey Liz, tell him he had a previous gift of scissors that weren’t in a package!
BigDaveGlass about 2 months ago
Looks like Liz has been hypnotized. Explains allot.
Purple People Eater about 2 months ago
When I first got Windows 98, there was a plastic package with a floppy disk and a message written on it that said that by opening the package, you agreed to the terms of the license. Guess where the license was.
markkahler52 about 2 months ago
Well, no; you see, actually, she’s gone CATatonic….
Gent about 2 months ago
Some story Jon.
2AndFour about 2 months ago
So, Jon doesn’t have something as basic as some scissors at home? I feel sorry for Liz.
A# 466 about 2 months ago
“Because I ain’t got no stinger!” (cackle, cackle)#
(#) cf: “To Have, and to Have Not”Goat from PBS about 2 months ago
Don’t you hate it when that happens? You need the thing to open… the same thing.
Slowly, he turned... about 2 months ago
“Hey, I ordered some freeze dried water once” …thanks to Steven Wright
Jeffin Premium Member about 2 months ago
That was a knife story but I didn’t get the point.
CaveCat87 about 2 months ago
Jon, the master of telling long, boring stories.
Mario500 about 2 months ago
(senses a story without a beginning in this cartoon)
Clarence about 2 months ago
I guess Jon didn’t have scissors before
ʲᔆ about 2 months ago
is that a cardboard cutout of Liz?
hariseldon59 about 2 months ago
That’s how you bore someone.
Count Olaf Premium Member about 2 months ago
And that’s how the Cackling Commie tells a story. God Bless America
guenette.charlie(BozoKnows) about 2 months ago
Yes, if the idea of telling the story is to bore your audience to death.
edmund_graham about 2 months ago
I think Liz might be regretting her life choice right now
rbrt6956 about 2 months ago
The funny part of this is that he is actually correct .
ladykat about 2 months ago
I’ve had packages like that.
Queen of America about 2 months ago
Years ago I bought one of those "As seen on tv’ things. It cuts through all of those horrible hard plastic. It’s so great, I got three more and gave two to friends and one to my sister. Mine is called OPEN IT.
replay1111 about 2 months ago
Anyone else think this is actually a good twist??
RussellCastine about 2 months ago
The perfect cure for the most severe insomniac patients: Jon’s stories.
lnrokr55 about 2 months ago
Shoulda quit while you’re ahead Jon!!! ;-)
w16521 about 2 months ago
Liz looks hypnotized
JenF about 2 months ago
I can so relate to Jon and his ramblings… unfortunately I’m the one rambling all the time.
mail2jbl about 2 months ago
I wonder if Liz has regretted wasting the last 18 years of her life dating this dweeb. Why don’t they get married already?
CarmineX about 2 months ago
Ellen Degeneres does this same joke in one of her old standup specials…
Smeagol about 2 months ago
He probably bought a special tool to open blister packs and the tool CAME IN A BLISTER PACK.
anncorr339 about 2 months ago
Jon you could have used a knife to open the package..
anncorr339 about 2 months ago
Jon you could have used a knife to open the package.
brick10 about 2 months ago
She is in a boredom induced trance.
BlitzMcD about 2 months ago
And yet Liz sticks with him…..
Strawberry King about 2 months ago
Oh, no! He bored her so much, she’s in a coma!
sincavage05 about 2 months ago
Arbuckle you’re several bales of hay lost on your load. Please return to checkout and try again.
olds_cool63 about 2 months ago
zzzzzzzz….zzzzzzzzzzzzz….zzzzzzzzzzz….zzzzzzzzzzzz…
hagarthehorrible about 2 months ago
Liz, one more reason to dump Jon.
minky momo about 1 month ago
I like the shirt Liz is wearing :D