Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for November 01, 2024

Joke might work better if the pizza wasn’t covered in urine.

Hey, what’s the Pizza Box Monster made of, anyway? Is it boxes of pizza? Because there’s like no boxes that have “PIZZA” written on them—Oooh, I get it now! Sorry, but it is subtle.

Anyone who’s read “Dracula” knows that the Count is repelled by garlic. So now we know that Montoni’s is too incompetent to include garlic in its pizzas. Probably the box tastes better than the product, which would explain the PBM’s fear.

Dracula: undead, but still livelier than a Funkyverse character.

TOMORROW: PBM vs the DALEKS and GODZILLA and TONY Montoni (who is now the ROBOCOP PREDATOR TERMINATOR TRON) after they burst through the FUNKYVERSE BARRIER and also that one Teletubbie who kinda weirded me out you know the one, and WHY when you crank a Jack-in-the-Box it plays Pop Goes the Weasel, but then a weasel never pops up? Oh, sorry, this strip is SO FASCINATING that I forgot what I was talking abou—SQUIRREL!!!!

Great. Now Batiuk is stealing his “jokes” from those South of the Border billboards along I-95 (search out “South of Border Never Sausage a Place”).

Double garlic pizza

One of these days I hope these will be upright again so I can read them. Perhaps they need to have Wiley show them how it’s done.

Silence is golden.

Tom and Dan had too much last week and are laying on the floor when they did this week’s strips.